Feeling like a Nobody- Axel's story

The Feels...

{Axel}

I'm running away. Running away from everybody. Everybody I knew and everybody I thought I knew.

I can't begin to tell you the reason why i'm running. There's not just one reason, oh how I wish it was just one simple problem. But in fact, there are multiple reasons. So many that I can not remember, or figure out how they all connect.

I know they all connect. I feel them all connect.

It's been so many days-no, months since I felt true emotion.

Mostly I feel like an empty shell of some sort. Ha, I guess you could say I feel like a Nobody. Unfortunately, none of you know exactly how that feels. The loneliness, the hollow like feeling where my heart would be, fear of the unknown. Faith crumbling, shattering into so many pieces that I can't put them back together.Confusion, oh the confusion. You know what, i'm not going to get into "that" subject. It's too painful.

Anyways, you can kind of see how I feel, and what i'm dealing with. Don't get your hopes up, there's a lot more going on with me from what I told.

As i sit here on the clock tower, waiting for.... I guess you can call him my only little bit of real happiness in my life. He's the only one who truly sees how messed up I am. But when he's around I don't concentrate on the negatives. I only see the light. Light surrounds him and pushes away the darkness that consumes me.

But I can't get to attached. For I know I will only have a few seconds with him. Then it's back to the old lonely Nobody.

I have never told him how he's the only one who can make me smile.

And I swear, if you ever tell him or anybody that... let's just say that you should not sleep. Got that memorized?

Watching the sea salt ice cream drip off my leather glove and onto the ground below. Something caught the corner of my eye. I turned and smiled as my "bright light" sat next to me. I handed him his Popsicle.

He simply said. "Hey Axel."

I warmly replied. "Hey Roxas."