Feeling like a Nobody- Axel's story

The Loneliness...

{Axel}

I sit here. Back against the wall below the window seal. The edge of the window hitting the back of my neck, sending numb like shivers down my spine, That tingling sensation roams over my whole body, consuming it completely. But, I don't dare to move a single inch of my body.

Why? You might ask.

Well, this is the only true feeling -or sensation if you will- that doesn't hurt me mentally or emotionally.

I've been sitting here for what seem like hours. Not moving, not focusing, not even paying attention to my surroundings. So even if someone came in and seen me, I wouldn't notice or care what they say or do. I soon realized i'm waiting. Waiting for something, someone to rescue me from this numb like state.

On the outside of my body , I look calm. As if I was lying in a field of tall grass, gazing up at the sky in the middle of the day. But in fact, my mind is a cloud of blurriness. Unable to think or concentrate clearly. The best way I cant explain it, is like when you watch an intense movie. Throughout the whole thing you're on the edge of your seat, but then the ending comes and it doesn't quite make sense. So you just sit there, trying to understand what just happened, not moving for several minutes. Stunned by the outcome of the movie.

That's what I feel. Confused. Well, "confused" is too simple of a word to use. "Perplexed" is a better word to me. Anyways, i'm just mentally lost.

The sound of a car screeching across the pavement took me out of my little world. Sighing, I finally stood up and headed to what the world has planed for me today.

While i was thinking about something. That "something" was bringing me down even more. It was the thought of never overcoming this.....phase in my life. I'm always going to be miserable.

Throwing my coat on, I walked outside. Greeted by someone who gives me a bit of joy in my life.

"Hey Axel." The blonde spoke. Straightening up from leaning against the wall with one of his smiles.

"Hey Roxas." I replied with a fake smile.

                                                     If only he knew I was broken....