Detroit Become Human one-shots

Connor X depressed reader

A/N; In this story I'm not going to romanticize metal illness, mental illness may be a touchy subject but if you do feel like ending you're life. please seek help I'll be listing the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, there open 24/7 and just remember you are not alone. 1-800-273-8255...One more thing they also have online chats open if you feel uncomfortable talking on the phone.....
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Warnings; Self harm and suicidal tendencies
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You're POV;
It was a cold rainy day in Detroit, I was just walking into the DPD at 7:00 am, to see my friends Hank and Connor.
They were sitting at their desks and when I walked Connor greeted me with a warm, "Hello", And good morning, I say hello and good morning back as I put down my stuff and head to the break room for some coffee.
The smell of the bitter drink filled the air and it's aroma smacked me in my face.
Once getting my coffee I went back to my desk I sipped the bitter drink down my mouth as warmth wrapped around esophagus......
It burned but I liked it, before I could take another sip Hank,Connor,and me got called for a homicide downtown...
~Time skip~
When we got there police were already looking around the property for any signs of forced entry into the home..When we walked in the door a foul smell hit me, I've been to crime scenes before but this was too much for me and Hank I could tell by his facial expressions that it did not smell like daisies and roses but more like a garbage fire......
~Time skip~
Connor and I were upstairs searching for anything that could help us, that's when we heard a the tinniest bump come form the ceiling. "Y/N, did you heard that?", Connor said, "Yeah......Connor I'm going up there and you're going to be behind me the entire time got it?", I say as I prepare my gun for firing if needed.
I stepped onto the old ladder leading to attic
Connor and I still heard movement coming from the attic until I reached the last step that's when something pushes me down the ladder making me land on my knees, as whatever pushed me down came down the ladder in a hurried pace it ran. Connor ran after before I could get up....
~Time skip~
When we back to the station I was pissed.
"I can't believe I let them get away! God damn if it wasn't for me getting pushed down I've gotten his ass for sure.", I say blaming myself as I go through every other scenario were I wasn't a fuck-up.
I head back to my desk in a rage, as I slowly calm down I take off my sweatshirt that I have been wearing the entire time ever since I walked into the station. "Umm....Y/N, What's that on you're arm?", Connor said with concern in his voice, I looked over to him to answer but then I quickly reached for my jacket and put it on, "I-Umm...I was cutting onions then I accidentally cut my arm.", I say lying to his face. That got him too back off a bit but that didn't stop him completely form asking questions......
I couldn't tell him that I was cutting myself that would just make him more concerned about me and I don't need anybody being concerned about me I'm just waste of flesh and bones...
I grab my jacket and stand up from my chair as I slowly walk away Connor and Hank ask what I'm doing, "I'm going home,come get me if we have more cases okay?", I say in a dead emotionless voice that would make anyone shiver with goosebumps....
~Time skip~
As I walked through my door and shut it I collapsed against the door and cried......A few minutes later I got up and went to my bedroom I pulled out a razor blade, I took off my pants then I put on shorts.
Dragged the razor across my arm first until I finally put enough pressure to break the skin I winced in pain but I didn't care I like the pain it made me feel myself in a weird way.....
Once done with my arm I went down to legs they were already covered in scares that were healed over but some were still fresh I cut deep enough to some blood but not enough to have blood gushing over my hand.
I quickly went over to the bathroom and grabbed some bandages and medical tape I wrapped them up I took off my pants and then put back on my original pants and I put in a oversized sweatshirt....
My phone started to ring and I answered, "Hello?", I say with a soft voice, "Hi Y/N, just wanted to say that we have a case downtown.", Connor said, "Yes, I'll be over there in a few minutes I'll see you there.", I say, then Connor hung up the phone.
~Time skip~
"So what the hell happened here?", I say to Connor, "Well it appears to be a break in that went wrong.", "What makes you think that?", I say to Connor, "Well we found the victim's wallet was missing $100 and a credit card.",
Connor said, "Okay...Then do we have anything to identify the suspect?", "Yes,we do a camera caught everything including the suspects face so it might not be that hard to find him.",Connor said.
I started to look around to see anything else that someone could have missed but I found nothing.
~Time skip~
"Hey, Y/N? Can I ask you a question?", Connor said cocking his head to the side, "Yeah, shoot away.", I say, "Okay......Why do you blood on you're jeans and sweatshirt?", Connor said while he studied me, "W-Umm-What did you say sorry?", I say as I looked down in horror only to find blood on my jeans and sweatshirt.
"SHIT!", I say as I run out of the police station and too my car. Connor followed me shortly after I bolted along with Hank to my car. "Y/N are you okay?!", Hank managed to get out in between short and sallow breaths. "Yes, I am just need space right now.", I say trying to convince Hank and Connor that I'm perfectly fine and I don't need any damn help form anyone. "Y/N, open the doors.", Connor said "Connor, please just leave me alone, I'm going home change.", I said still trying to convince them that I'm fine.
Start my car up and pull out drive off not before too long I reach my apartment, turn off my car and lock. As I head upstairs I see Hank's car pull into my parking, "shit.....", I say under my breath I hurry myself to my apartment as I reach my door I open it and lock it. Then I get a knock at the door, "Hello? Who is it?", I say softly, "Y/N open the door, please we need to talk.", Connor said. I open up the door and I let them in. "So Y/N can you please explain to me why you bolted out of department?", Hank said with concerne, "Because I forgot to clean my legs.", I say, "Okay then why'd you forget to clean your legs?", Connor chimed in, "Because I was cutting myself.....", I say but I mumbled the last part. "I'm sorry I couldn't hear you on that last part can you repeat that?",Hank said wanting me to confess what I have been doing to myself. "I was cutting myself is that what you wanted me say?!", I say as a few tears escape form my eyes, "Y/N.....Why would you do that to you're self?", Connor said with sincerity in his voice, "Because I deserve it....", I say as tears come spewing out of my eyes, I cover my face with my hands in shame. "Y/N, why didn't you tell us, we could have helped you...", Connor said. "Because I didn't think you would give shit, because everyone I've told as turned their back on me, so why the hell would I trust anyone else?", I say in a soft voice as if comforting a small child. "Y/N.....We can get though this together...I promise you.",Connor said as Hank nodded his head in agreement. "Okay....",I say, "And more thing....Thank you.."
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Okay that was the end and I'm really sorry if that got too depressing and sad but still but I'm going to list again the National Suicide Prevention Hotline
1-800-273-8255 and they also have open chats if you don't feel comfortable talking on the phone,also this story hits close to home you read my other story then you know that I have had suicidal thoughts and also my one of my uncle killed him self but that's a different story for a different day.....
So anyways
Have a good day or night
and bye my little readers.