It Hurts [Yuliy and Philip]

It Hurts to Sleep

"Philip?" Yuliy let his eyes widen at the look of the boy in front if him. Philip had knocked on his door and he answered to find him clutching a pillow to his chest with uncertain eyes. "Why are you...?" He trailed off, voice rough from moments ago.

It's been almost a week since he started. He wouldn't have to avoid Philip anymore, no longer seemingly sulk in his room all day with that pain in his abdomen, and finally not have to worry about hurting this boy anymore.

But on what's most likely his final day in this state Philip comes knocking and with such a vulnerable expression? He stared up at Yuliy like he was both the answer to all his problems and also like he wanted him to go away despite being the one who came to him. His eyes were red like he'd been rubbing at them and shined with unshed tears but had a playfulness that's turned Yuliy's stomach upside down.

Philip scuffed, looked to left, and then down at his feet. "Man, don't look like a kicked puppy. It's blinding."

"That didn't answer my-"

"You didn't really ask a question." He sighed. "You know what. Nevermind. Sorry to bother you." He turned away, only taking a step before Yuliy shot forward with no thought other than not wanting him to leave and grabbed his wrist.

"Wait." Yuliy said, the lump in his throat managing to make his voice sound deeper. He coughed. "Don't go..." He's glad he managed not to sounds too desperate for Philip to stay. "Are you okay?"

"What?" He turned to face Yuliy, looking up again. His voice hid his surprise but his eyes seemed to try and read Yuliy like a foreign language. "Are you...? You sound like you think I'm leaving forever or something." So he didn't hide the desperation as well as he thought.

"Yeah I..." Yuliy swallowed at nothing and pulled his hand away from the others wrist like mere skin contact burned. It sure felt like it. "I'm just worried about you. Did you have a nightmare?"

"Huh?" Philip looked as if he were looking for an escape suddenly, eyes darting to and fro. He shut his eyes and pouted in defeat for a moment before giving Yuliy another look that sent his mind spinning. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah. You look like you've been crying for hours." He gave Philip a soft smile to try and comfort him, eyelids relaxing with his expression. "And like you need a hug."

"No no no. Nope. Don't hug me." He waved his hands in front of him before crossing His arms into an X, dropping his pillow as if he forgot he had it.

"Did you want to talk about it?"

"No. Not really." He picked up the pillow, disgruntled at himself.

"Then why d-"

"Ugh! I just didn't want to sleep alone okay? Stop beinging so smug." And the pillow was being held close to his chest again.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed?" No! Don't let him! He's barely holding it together as it is. Now he want to stay in the same room all night? In the same bed?

Before Yuliy could continue and say he'd sleep on the floor he noticed Philips cheeks tint pink. Philip nodded slow and shrugged. "Sure. That might help." Shit, what did Yuliy get himself into. He needed to get out, to run and never come back.

But he can't run. Not from Philip. He stepped out of the way and motioned for him to come in and shut the door behind him. Instantly it was too dark for Philip to see but Yuliy saw as he stumbled over to what was probably a vaguely bed shaped blob to him. He followed but Philip tripped over a pillow Yuliy had thrown minutes ago in frustration. Before he could hit the ground he easily caught himself but that didn't stop Yuliy. He ‘caught’ Philip even if he didn't need it and held him close as if letting go of him would be letting go of everything he held dear.