Stuck in the Middle (A Ray Ray Story) [ON HOLD]

Chapter 1 | Silence is So Freaking Loud

Rahim (Ray Ray):

Silence.

I always wake up to silence. What's new? Every morning is the same routine. Except on the weekends... That's when I really get to live life.

I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes sleepily.

Monday.

My home along with my neighborhood stays on mute around the clock. The grass is trimmed, houses kept up with, and an overall picture perfect community to live in. I've seen it in magazines before and people move from all over, if they're lucky enough to find a house on sale or for rent. As an only child, I don't even have annoying siblings that bother me during the day. Not to mention I rarely see my parents because they're too absorbed in their work. Work is all they know, all they care about. Most would be grateful for that, but me... I just wish I had some company. 

Sometimes I feel alone in a crowded room.

I was actually unplanned and its an amazement I wasn't put up for adoption. My mom was 42 and my dad 45, both never even wanting a child. However, my mom said when she saw my face for the first time... She couldn't help but smile and love me. I can't help but ask myself, where is that love now?

Gone.

It's gone, but whatever... I've learned to deal with it over the years. At least I have my nanny Martita... she's practically raised me over the years. But without my parents’ permission, I gave her this week off. They aren't here to punish me anyway. I'm 17 and perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

Wait, I'm in the mood for pancakes and I'm completely hopeless when it comes to cooking. My life.

*******

At exactly 7:45AM just like any other day, the doorbell rang and I hurriedly stuffed the rest of my breakfast down my throat.

Ding, dong.

"COMING!" I grabbed a 10oz bottle of Tropicana orange juice, ran to the door and opened it to see one of my best friends Julian waiting.

"You know I'm here at 7:45 every day for school, stop oversleeping Rahim." He walked to his car and I followed.

Hopping into the backseat, I said, "Can I get a 'Hi Ray, how are you doing' or something first Jay? Damn."

He brought his Dodge Challenger to life. "Hey Ray. And watch your language." Oop, forgot I'm in the church boy's car.

"You two are so not morning people," Estelle, Julian's girlfriend shook her head. I smiled innocently and she chuckled. "You're far from innocent my friend."

"Well that's just unfair; you're the most innocent high school girl on this planet. Do you guys even french kiss?" Elle looked away, obviously embarrassed.

"Hush Ray," Jay rolled his eyes. Julian and Estelle have been together since the sixth grade. You know that couple thats just wayyyy too into eachother? Yeah, well that's them. It can get a little annoying, but don't get me wrong...I'm not jealous. Actually, I'm really happy for them both, their eachother's soulmate's. Church boy found his church girl. I smiled to myself at the thought until I heard:

"Somebody told me

That we over come by our testimonies

But you wouldn’t believe

How doubt and fear

Use to paralyze me...."

"Why can't we ever listen to some Drake or...anything else? I love gospel, don't get me wrong, but seriously....everyday?"

Julian laughed and turned the volume up. I rolled my eyes, grabbed my beats by Dr. Dre out my backpack, and drowned everything out with J. Cole - Lights Please.

At School (8:05am, E hall)

"ELLEEEEEE!" Oh God, I know that voice from a mile away... We turned around to see no one other than Rose strutting over. Why in the world is Estelle friends with her? They're complete opposites!

Estelle smiled, "Hey, Rosie!" 

"Elle, don't call me Rosie, its Rose." She propped her ray-bans on her head, showing off her light brown eyes. "It makes me look soft."

"But  you are soft inside!" She gave her a hug and Rose sighed, but hugged back. Then I tuned out of their conversation.

I hit Julian's shoulder because he was staring at Rose, it looked like his eyes were on her chest, but I can't be sure. I whispered, "Dude, what are you doing?"

Before he could answer, Estelle turned around and pecked his cheek. "See you at lunch, alright?"

"Alright." He smiled and she walked away with Rose then turned to me. "I was just looking at her shirt, relax."

"Don't tell me you're secretly listening to punk bands, Jay! What would your father think!" I fake gasped as we began walking to our lockers.

Julian rolled his eyes, "So what if I do? I love God just as much as my parents but... Sometimes I feel like just........rebelling, you know? I'm tired of not being able to just.....live."

"I can only imagine. The last time I went to church was like 10 years ago." We both grabbed what we needed for our first couple of classes. "Just talk to them Jay, I'm sure they'll understand."

"Rahim. Are we talking about the same people? The last thing my parents are, is understanding."

I shrugged. We walked into our homeroom then sat towards the back. "Pray about it."

"Trust me, I tried."

I couldn't help but laugh at my best friend. "Seriously?! I was joking!"

"Hey, He works in mysterious ways my friend. Maybe you should revisit a church." 

"Nahh I'm good." I sat back in my seat and pulled out some math homework I procrastinated against last night. Ehh, he never checks homework so I just won’t do it. I took out my journal and began writing.

Honestly, God doesn't seem to like me all that much. Recently I've just been feeling....different. I can't explain it. I haven't even told anyone about it. Something's missing.....what is it? That's what I have to figure out. But there is one thing I know..... God made me this way, but Julian says He never makes mistakes. I always thought I was one though...

I have no purpose in this world. I'm just here taking up space.

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Don't judge me for making a new story >.< I got this idea and couldon't help myselfff. It's just the beginning...but tell me what you think please!