What Now? (Fanfiction)

Chapter One

"Hi, my name is Demi Lovato. Hi, my name is Demi Lovato.Hi, my name is Demi Lovato.  Hi, my name is Demi Lov-"

"SHUT UP!" I shouted at my alarm clock at 6:15 in the morning. But it carried on.

"Hi, my name is Demi Lovato. Hi, my name is De-"

"WHAT DID I SAY?! EITHER YOU BE QUIET NOW OR I SWEAR, I SWEAR!!!!" I carried on shouting, but it was no use because I knew I was already too awake to go back to sleep now. Thanks a lot, alarm clock!

Ugh, I thought, why do I have to go to school today?

If you havn't noticed, I go to this prison that goes by the name of "High School". I'm pretty sure you've heard of it. It's not fun though, trust me. I should know.

I get bullied on a day to day basis, physically and emotionally. I just learnt to ignore them though. Believe it or not, I turned "mute" at school. I figured, if no one wants to listen to anything I have to say or even wants to talk to me, what's the point of even opening my mouth?

Being the Lovatic I am, I quicky logged on to Twitter to see the latest "Demi update", as I like to call it. Instead I saw something that broke my heart. No, it wasn't my favourite male celebrity that has a girlfriend or my crush that has a girlfriend. Intead I saw hate accounts. Directed towards me. There were several accounts hating on me. @WeHateRachelStar, @RayStarIsABitch, @Please_Die_Ray_S, @The_Loser_Is_Ray, @Ew_GrossRachel and @Ray_DieAlready were all spamming me. Six accounts. As I scrolled down I could feel the brim of my eyes starting to cloud with tears but I chose to continue reading through my blurry vision.

@WeHAteRachelStar: @ForeverxInvisible Don't you get it? We want you to die! Go drink bleach or something!

@Ew_GrossRachel: @ForeverxInvisble Srsly? Where do u even get ur clothes? The army? God, ur ugly! #PleaseDieRay

@Ray_DieAlready: @ForeverxInvisible Ur exactly wat ur handle says; invisble. Btw, were gana get da whole skwl 2 trend #PleaseDieRay

Not gonna lie, that hurt. I kept scrollling down the page with tears streaming down my face Who would do something like that? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt them? Why would I hurt them though? I kept asking these question in my head as I was now full on sobbing.

It ALL clicked to me as I was walking to my bathroom to have my morning shower. It's Josh and his 'crew'. The ones who are responsible for making my high school days a living hell. They turned the whole school against me. Even the teachers! Well, most of them...

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I haven't even noticed that I had already entered my bathroom. I quickly stripped and hopped into the shower. I was about to get my shampoo, but something else caught my attention. My razor. I just stared at it, wondering if I should do it or not. In my 17 years of existence, I've never thought of self harming once in my life. I had read many stories about people who have suffered from depression, but never contemplated on doing it. They say it helps. Emotionally, at least. Oh what the heck! My eyes are puffy, I have bruises all over my body and I could always use bracelets to cover it up right?

I took my razor and unclipped the blade before quickly rinsing it off, my anxiety taking over me. Then I quickly brought the shiny silver metal to my left wrist, digging it into my wrist and dragging it down. I was now watching the blood ooze out of my now sensitive skin. I let out a deep breath. God, that feels so good!

I then did another one.

“This one is for being fat,” I said as I did another cut.

“This one is for being ugly.” Another cut.