Melodrama

Muddled Mind of Mine - 5

CASEY'S POV

I sat in my room impatiently, doing nothing and everything at once. Cleaning my room, but only thinking of Rhea, doing my homework, but only staring at the pages as if they were blank. 

She was coming over to work on our project, and I had no idea what I was going to do. 

I mean, I tried making promises to myself.

"When she comes, you are not, not going to hit her. You got that?"

But then of course, that's what I tell myself every single day. I also tried to lay out our project on my bed. 

"Okay, the thesis will start here, then we'll move over to the first chunk. And then...God I wonder what she would look like sprawled out across this bed."

And obviously, I didn't get too far. And here I am now. Contemplating why I care so much. I don't care about anything, that's how I roll. And then she came along, with her annoying smile, annoying intelligence, annoyingly sweet laugh, annoying name, annoying-

DInG DonG

-and the annoying bell.

I practically trip down the steps trying to get to the door. I feel a smile unravel against my lips. I don't know why I'm so happy to see her, but by God, I am. I open the door and my breath catches in my throat as I look down at her. We stare at each other for a solid minute before she starts laughing nervously. My smile widens.

"Come on in."

RHEA'S POV

I follow her inside, a giddy feeling bubbling deep in my chest. She looks so happy to see me...happy, like she doesn't want to beat me up. Which is new. I look around like I haven't been here before.

"I...I like your h-house." I manage. I mentally face palm; why did I have to be so nervous? She turns around and looks at me, and I feel warmth flood my cheeks.

"Why thank you. You'll like my room even more." And I think she winks. And I think I die. 

               She leads me to her room before I realize it's eerily quiet. I clear my throat, flinching at the amount of sound I make. Casey usually doesn't like it when I make a lot of noise.

"Is...Is it just you at home?" I say softly as I drop my bag gently on the ground. She stretches, not bothering to look at me as she answers. I've never seen this care free side of her.

"Yeup. Just me. Although it's usually just me at home."

I blink. "Oh, me too." My eyes widen as she looks at me with a frown. Fuck fuck fuck, don't ruin her mood, you dumbass.

"S-sorry-" I breathe out, taking a step back. I see her tilt her head to the side, her hands fidgeting near her sides. She thinks I don't notice the cracks in her mask, but I do. And oh, I revel in them.

She looks to her bed before clearing our project off of it. She sits and pats the space next to her.

"We can waste some time." I looks me dead in the eye. "Sit."

And I do as she says, because she leaves no room for argument.

"What do you mean?" 

I sigh shakily. "It's not a big deal, really, it's just me and my dad. My dad who's an alcoholic and never home. It's fine, though. I've learned to cook pasta and pay rent, I'm set." I laugh softly, rubbing my arm. I jump as she moves closer.

CASEY's POV

I watch as she flinches slightly. I don't care. I do care.

"I...I'm sorry."

"N-No, it's fine, I'm used to i-"

"LET ME FINISH!" I yell unintentionally, and I watch helplessly as she whimpers and puts her hands up. She knows this scenario all too well, and I'm to blame. My face pales and I move back, putting my face in my hands.

"Rhea, wait." I start, my breathing ragged. 

"I'm sorry for everything. Like...like what just happened now. I'm sorry for that, and I'm sorry for bullying you. Fuck, it's beyond bullying, huh? I'm sorry for all the pain I inflicted upon you, I'm sorry for making you terrified every single day, because you don't deserve to live like that!" I start to breathe heavily, looking her in the eye frantically. I need her to understand. I ignore the tears that swim in my eyes as I claw at my hair.

"God! Look what I did to you! I can still she the scars on your cheek. God- I'm so sorry! You know that right? I just- I can't stop! I've tried, I-I swear I have, and I'm trying to get better, I am! But no matter what I do I always mess up and I hurt you and I enjoy it but I feel like trash afterwards and I want to talk to you but I just-"

"Casey." I stop as she takes my hands in hers. I look down at her with wide eyes, for once in my life finding myself speechless. She smiles softly.

"It's okay." And then she does something that I never thought she would do. She pulls me forward by my hands, leaning in until our lips are touching. I make a sound of surprise, her hands still woven tightly around mine. She pulls back and stares up at me. We're both red, I'm sure. I stumble backwards, putting my shaking hand up to my mouth.

RHEA's POV

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD!!

I watch as the reality of what we just did hits her. I kissed her. I kissed her. I kissed her. I kissed her! I don't know why I did. I've never initiated anything in my life. But...she looked so lost, and so small, and so goddamn hurt that I just...had to. And sweet Jesus, was it nice. Her next words are like a slap to the face.

"Why in the world would you do that?"

I feel the familiar beat of panic clench in my chest.

"What?"

She grabs my shoulders roughly and I'm reminded of who's room I'm in, and precisely whom I'm sitting next to.

"Why would you kiss me? You don't like me, do you? This is so bad oh my- you kissed me! And now I'm going to fall even harder for a girl that probably doesn't like me and I'm gonna end up hurting you even more and everything is gonna go to hell!" She presses her fingers into my skin and I wish I didn't like how it felt, because that would make things so much easier.

I open my mouth to respond.

"Well?" she asks, fuming.

"Because." I say softly, looking up at her.

"I do like you. Oops."

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MUAHAHHAA IM sORRY I JUSt cOUDLnT waIT