The Dignity of Labor

 It was a bright, cloudless summer day in Tombaugh. Off in the distance a lawnmower could be heard rumbling as it cut the grass. Felix MacCallum and his best friend Andy Perkins were laying in the grass in Andy's backyard.

"Bro, I'm hungry," said Felix suddenly.

"Dude, get some snacks from the like, fridge," said Andy. "Get me something while you're at it."

Felix got up and walked into the Perksin' kitchen. The refrigerator was an old, pale yellow model with magnets covering it. Felix pulled the fridge open and found...

Nothing.

Well, not nothing at all, but nothing you would consider a snack.

"Bro," said Felix, walking to the door, "there's nothing to eat in there!"

"What are you talking about, dude?" asked Andy. "There's like, plenty of stuff in there."

"I didn't know you liked to drink egg beaters," said Felix. "'Cause that's the only kind'a stuff in there."

"Crap, that's right..." said Andy. "My dad brings home groceries tonight."

"So what do we do now?" asked Felix.

"No big, dude," said Andy. "We just have to like, buy snacks ourselves."

"Sounds good," replied Felix. "How much money you got?"

Andy's eyes widened at this question. "Dude, you're the guy with the like, money. I'm broke!" Andy reached into his pocket and pulled out three bus tokens and an expired Oikos yogurt coupon.

"Why do you have that?" asked Felix.

"Dude," said Andy, a little bit defensively, "it helps with like, irregularity! Jamie Lee Curtis told me so!"

Felix rolled his eyes and fished around in his baggy jeans pockets. He pulled out some coins and counted them.

"I have 88 cents," said Felix.

An awkward pause fell between the two boys.

"Wait!" said Andy suddenly. "Why don't we like, just get jobs and make our own money!"

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile in another part of town, Freddy Cowell would shortly find he also needed money as he stepped into the convenience store to buy a six-pack of Budweiser and Newports. It would not be his ID that failed him (it was a quality fake that had never been questioned), but the fact his wallet was empty.

"Dang it!" Freddy spat, kicking a fire hydrant as he left the store, defeated. "How am I supposed to get my fix now?"

I could just nab the money, he thought to himself, but Grandma and Grandpa might notice and get suspicious. I could take it from Mom, but if she caught me taking her club money she'd probably kill me.

"I need a job," said Freddy resolutely.

One forged resume, a few interviews, and a week later, Freddy began his first day of work at Dino's Pizza as a delivery boy.

"Alright," said Freddy's manager, a man with thick black hair, a beard to match, and a gravely voice who spoke with a slight New York accent, "welcome to your first day. So basically you just sit here until we get an order or two, and you drive to the address on the box. Simple. Any questions?"

"Sounds good to me," said Freddy. After the manager returned to the back, Freddy pulled out his Walkman and put on his favorite grindcore tape, 30th Trimester Abortion by Skullsaw.