Too late

Now

After smoking a couple blunts I was more than calm enough to deal with Kristen now. She definitely wasn't that sweet girl who loved Disney Land anymore , it was almost like since she turned 13 she had it out for me. Every day its something new and ever since she half way found out what I was into she's been giving me hell. Some old photos I sold back in the day resurfaced and the kids at school were anything than kind. I mean , all the boys wanted to know who I was of course  , testosterone all over the place. The little girls called me everything from a ho to a prostitute , which didn't bother me none but took a huge toll on Kristen. She was embarrassed , she was hurt , she took an entire week off school and the principal had to threaten that if anyone showed the photos or talked about them then they would be suspended , if not expelled. That wasn't good enough for Kristen , it was all out in the open. Since then it's like she lost all respect in me. I knocked on her door and she didn't say a word, I twisted the knob and it was locked. Why did I get her a room that locked ? "Open the door Kristen - now!" I yelled , that was almost the only way I could get through to her , to be a bitch. A couple minutes passed by and then I head the knob unlocking. I opened the door and she was laying back down on her bed. "Listen , we need to talk. This shit has been going on way too long. What I did in the past to take care of us is just that - in the past . Stop letting this loser ass kids get in your head. Their parents aren't perfect either." she wouldn't even look at me. I wasn't ready to tell her the absolute truth , the truth that I wasn't really her mother , but her sister. I wasn't sure if things would get worse or better or if I did that. "You just have to know that I was young , I was scared , and I did what I had to do to protect you and feed you and keep you warm and under a roof. I may not be proud of it , but I damn sure ain't ashamed." She sat up when she heard the tone of my voice change. I had never cried in front of her , been sad , sympathetic. I had to be strong , I had to be the one she came to for advice , I couldn't show her any sign of weak emotion, I had to be her rock. I was close to tears now , I never talked about the past , or explained it , it just happened and it got us where we are now. On 3 acres of land and I own , a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom house with a nice pool in the back. She's only 14 and I already bought her a car for when she turns 16 , I have it at a friends auto shop until then , I mean , the life back then made it so much easier for us now. Did I mention as of now I have 1.7 million in the bank saved ? I have more than enough to get out of the game , but one thing I didn't get from Jen was the actual balls to drop this and go make something of myself. What could I possibly do ? "I had you at 13 years old Kristen , 13 . That's like you , having birth right now and then me leaving you to do the rest all on your own. There were times when I didn't know how we were going to eat , where we were going to sleep , if someone was going to find out that I was 13 , homeless with a baby if they were going to take you , take me , take us and split us up. I did whatever it was that I had to do to get us exactly where we are now. As a young child you wanted for nothing , I gave you a life that I myself never ever had. I had to wait 26 years to live like this Kristen." Now she was staring at me , her eyes were soft , her breathing slow. "So don't you dare disrespect me like I was just some whore sending out photos of myself for nothing. Sadly that photo floating around went for $175 , that was our grocery money at one point . You don't know the struggle -  I do. You wanna be embarrassed that everyone done seen ya mama tits , do that , but best believe , them tits paid the bills and anything else aswell - it is what it is , nothing we can do about it now." The room was silent for a bit. "You don't do it anymore right?"

"No , not at all." I said , it wasn't a lie , I stopped sending photos last year. "You're just worth so much more mom. You right , I wanted for nothing , I've had the absolute best life , our house is amazing , our life is amazing , I was just , disappointed I guess." she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me. "Now you let that bullshit fly out ya mouth again and I'm gone take ya fucking head off." I said and then exited her room. I smiled when I shut the door then walked away.