Just to get my feelings out

Im sorry

I'm sorry I wasn't there to say goodbye
Happy Birthday I miss you and love you so fucking much you don't understand
But you aren't in pain anymore
My big buddy my lion teddy bear you always thought you were a puppy and would cross your legs like the fanciest dog ever and you were
You were amazing and so kind it's hard for me to write this without crying hah..
I will forever cherish you and every one of our memories together
You were the light in my darkness my big baby
Living without you is like hell
I continue to think about how much love you had even in your last moments
When you licked away my tears as if saying everything will be okay just continue to hang on
3 years later bud like I promised
I can live I will try for you
I spread your ashes by the river
I remember when we would splash around in there all the time and come home soaked and getting yelled at for being wet and we were dirty
I remember when you ran out of the backyard to go and chase this kid on his scooter
I remember your last day
You were sick
It hurt and still does
But you lived a long life 15 years
You deserve everything you gentle giant
My Big Buddy
Rest In Peace please ❤️