The Nun Fanfiction

3. Frenchie's inner demons

[A/N] I added this chapter because I thought the story needed to have more depth and background for the characters for us as readers and fans to have more understanding and affection with the character. In the nun movie I don't think we get to see so much of the characters because it's a horror movie so I just came up with an own back story I guess... well obviously cause it's a fanfiction haha... well well hope you guys will enjoy it! <33

Frenchie had always had some kind of inner demons. We all have don't we? It could either be anxiety, over thinking or delusions... But he had something different than the other of us. Ever since birth he had trouble finding peace within himself... He didn't have a real safety zone where he could be at ease. He had a self-hatred that he was born with. Could that possible be because of the loss of his mother while she gave birth to him? Probably...

But what was the thing that made him feel at ease? Beauty. Beauty had always spoken to him in a way that made him happy with himself, and he was reminded of the only vague picture he had of his mother. She was a beautiful woman, and for some miracle even though he was just an infant, he remembers the very vague picture of his mothers beauty by the very first and last look of her while he was born. Why did she have to die? No one deserves to die like that, right before your newborn child.

During his whole life Frenchie had blamed himself. Because of him a woman had to die. A person he didn't ever have the chance to meet. Frenchie had of course learnt to live with the fact... still it was  inside him like a vine with thorns. 

Later in his years of life, around 15 years old he had found the way to find some peace, and he quickly got the title as the charmer of ladies in town. He thought that he had filled the emptiness from his mother with the beauty of other ladies. He never really knew though what the love from your own mother was like. He never really knew what real love was. What real love felt like from somebody who really cared for you and wanted the best for you. He didn't get to experience anything of that and that was really only because of a tragedy, not because of him but..., hell what did he know? He thought it was because of him. He had convinced himself that it was him.

Now when he's lying on the floor of the cell to feel some kind of change and shift from the bed, he can't stop thinking about how he deserved to die. His soul deserved to be eaten up by a demon. His body deserved to be posessed by a demon, a monster. Of course he was brilliant at hiding it, he had a whole life of experience hiding his inner demons from the death of his mother. Like when he smiled but actually didn't feel like smiling, or when he was flirting with a lady and actually just wanted to get home and sleep. Or when he was polite to other people but actually just wanted to hit somebody. All of these things made him just used to being stuck in a limbo in a matter of what he is as a being. 

Was he worth of God's power? God's saving and miracles. Was he worthy of Sister Irenes help and care, her love and support? Could he even accept it?

If you'd just look at him, you'd say yes. But that's what his handsome - "charming ladies" - shell has fooled you to. Becuase he looks so strong, so mentally strong and happy and physically strong on the outside. Inside it's actually the opposite... and that is what's worrisome. Because he is slowly letting in to the demon inside him....