Scars and Bruises

Monday 3rd January 2014

So, i guess this is where my story starts, um, i guess i should introduce myself. Im 13 years old (14 in 6 months) and im just a normal girl from the UK. I just came home from my first day back at high school after the Christmas holidays. It was okay i guess, it just went like any other back to school day, i was reunited with my mates and 10 minutes later it was like we had never been apart. The day went pretty fast and i met this girl called Emily Rose. Well, when i say 'met' i mean that i never really used to hang around with her , i just kind of acknowledged she was there. I don't know why i didn't talk to her before, she's awesome and looks like someone im going to get along with really well. Ive been feeling quite down recently and i think a new friend will help me feel better. Hopefully.

Wednesday 5th February 2014

So, today me and Emily where talking and the topic of self harming came up and i told her about how i went through a mini stage of depression in year 7 and my teacher noticed it and sent me to a counselling session (which i absolutely hated!)

We also talked about this guy she met on omegle.Charlie. I said he's bad news since he was a total stranger and that i didn't think it was a good idea.

Friday 7th February 2014

So, Emily has been 'going out' with this Charlie for a couple of days now, she asked my other friend Charlotte if she would go and meet him with her which Charlotte obviously said no to. "Trust me when i say, this is all going to blow up in your face", i nagged. "you've only 'known' this guy for a couple of days".

"He sent me pictures of him and i've seen his twitter!" she said acting like she had a smart come back that would shut me up. This was by far one of the most stupid conversations Ive ever had!

Monday 10th February 2014

So, today in textiles Emily looked really sad so i sat down next to her,

"What's up?" no answer.

"Are you okay?" she just shrugged her shoulders.

I decided to ask Charlotte at break why Emily was so sad.

"Charlie broke up with her". That explains it all.

"Why?" i asked.

"Don't know, ask her yourself. She shrugged. "I think it was something to do with going to meet him".

At lunch i forced Emily to talk to me and then she just broke down and told me all of what happened and cursed alot, which i can only translate into random symbols which represent her pain.

"Why did i bother with him, he's such a @#%&. "I liked him and i thought he liked me back, well %&*# him!"

Apparently he never liked her and was already seeing another girl. I felt sick to my stomach, how could Charlie do that to her. To be honest, i don't think Charlie's real. The horrible thing is; i was right about it all. And boy did she know it.

Wednesday 5th March 2014

So, Emily told me that she's finally over Charlie and she actually fancied someone else. His name was Daniel. She pointed him out to me at lunch and to be honest, he wasn't any better looking than the last one but at least this time she knew him and he actually goes home in the car with her. "Danny's Kim's cousin", she said reassuringly. (Kim being the girl she goes home with). "Oh, so if he hurts you then at least im close enough to beat him up". I said sarcastically.

"He won't", she said reassuringly as if she had this mystical crystal ball that she could see into the future with, i wish i did.

Monday 10th march 2014

So, its been exactly a month since Charlie and Emily split. Danny hasn't really hung round with her at school. He probably see's her enough when they get a lift together. I hope that's the case anyway.

Tuesday 11th March 2014

So i realised that i haven't really been writing about me as much. I guess Ive been feeling abit better recently, Ive just been feeling so lonely, even though i have like the best friends ever but its just not enough. Don't get me wrong im not un grateful or anything. I don't know, i just feel like no one understands me as much as i want them too. No one except Emily-Rose.

Tuesday 1st April 2014

Oh my gosh, so i haven't written in ages! I lost my diary. I'm not going to try catch up so i'll just fill you in now. Emily and Danny broke up. What a surprise (I say sarcastically). I guess I'm kind of glad, i mean I've been telling her all along that Danny wasn't the right guy but that's the thing about Emily, she dosen't listen until it's too late. Way too late. Oh and the worst thing happened the other day. I told my 'friend', Shannon about my cutting and she decided to tell all her mates and now I wouldn't be surprised if the whole of year 9 knows about it! Everyone keeps walking up to me and asking "why do I do that to my self" and "I'd never be able to do that to myself". I just want to lock myself in my room forever! Even the popular girls ask me. You know, them girls that always try to make other girls feel bad because they're not and never will be them. I hate when people criticise other people for not looking, acting or dressing the way they think is 'right'. I hate how people think they can pull dirty looks, laugh and swear at people that don't look the way everyone portrays. I mean aren't I just the same as everyone else, just because I do my makeup a different way or I'm a bit chubbier than you dosen't mean it's okay to make fun of me does it? It seems to you like it is...

Thursday 3rd April 2014

so Emily has been wanting to go to this mcbusted concert and the time is getting closer and closer till she goes but since her and Danny split up, she is saying she might just miss it.

"Are you stupid or something!"

"I don't know, i might not go because Danny hurt my feelings".

"HE'S AN IDIOT, HE NEVER TALKED TO YOU OR HUNG AROUND WITH YOU, I'M NOT EVEN SURE YOU CAN CLASS THAT AS DATING!"

"I'm sorry".

there it is, the one thing about Emily that makes me want to squeeze her to death. She always gets out of fights by just saying im sorry. I melt everytime.

Monday 21st April 2014

It's been quite a long time since Emily and Danny broke up, Emily did go to the concert and it looked like she had a good time. She's moved on from Danny now and she actually told me in secret that she actually likes one of the people we know. He's called Dylan and he has gone out with one of my friends before but i honestly don't know what he's like. I didn't think that anything would happen and that it was a silly schoolgirl crush. That was until she text me after school.

Emily: hi guess what

Me: what

Emily: me and Dylan are together

me: how

Emily: i asked him on facebook. He called me beautiful :)

Once again it felt like she was being dragged away from me by another one of her endless boyfriends. Now that i think about it, i guess i am abit jealous but cant she just go five minutes without getting another boyfriend!

Thursday 24th April

For the past few days her and Dylan have just been hugging and kissing through break and lunch. I just feel so left out, everywhere i turn, i see couples and it just makes me feel so lonely. Is it so bad that i just want to be loved.