There's so much craziness, surrounding me. Everything's crazy at the moment, some days I don't know whether I am coming or going. There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe. Sometimes I just want to take a step back, away from the cameras, away from the prying hands of the press. Sometimes I wish that I hadn't gone into this world at all, I never thought it would be this big. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that this would happen, I didn't think I would be posting my life on the internet. And sometimes, I just wish I could go back to thatching. I like my life, I just sometimes want to hide.
We've been followed, we've had more articles written about us since strictly than I've ever had before. Suddenly my life has been plagued with the press, the articles about us getting engaged, you are dropping out of strictly and my music career. Sometimes I just want to disappear. You know how stressed I get about them. We both know it's bullshit, but I don't like it. When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me. You try to make me feel better about everything, you make it real for me.
When I'm not sure of, my priorities. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. It's not supposed to be like this, I should know what I want to-do. The fun that I once felt, it's almost all gone. Maybe that's why I took up strictly. It's almost bridged the path for me to wander onto TV, maybe that's what I want. Maybe I'm sick of documenting my life, when I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be. I thought I knew it all, I thought I knew what I wanted to-do. I don't want to vlog anymore, maybe I'll get that passion back. I just don't think it will be anytime soon. I want to be able to feel more passionately about this, I want to be able to care more. I just can't, maybe started to realise when I went on strictly, that I was getting a bit bored. Maybe I was looking for something. Or the fact my priorities have changed, I am older now. I'm nearer thirty than I am twenty. I can't hide behind my youth forever.
You make me feel different. You waltzed into my life, changing everything. Like holy water, washing over me, making me feel knew and different. A good sort different, a different I never thought I would feel. You make it real for me, you make me feel like something I've never felt before. You make me feel like an actual person, when sometimes I feel like I am just a face on the internet.
And I'm running to you baby, my mind constantly circulates back to you. What would Di think? What do you want for dinner? You are the only one who saved me, you make me feel like the old Joe. The one that got a little lost after everything got a lot bigger than I thought it ever would. I didn't mean to become famous, Zoe was the one that started all of this. In a way, I was collateral, I was just lucky. I thought I would be a thatcher, retire at sixty-five. I would be married to a girl from my village, we might even move to Bath. We would have a nice house, maybe in Oldfield Park. That's a nice part of Bath. Or maybe I would stay in Lacock. We would have maybe two kids.
Except this has happened. I am madly in love with you. An annoying red-head Australian with weird thumbs. Four months after living with you, I've established I can't live without you, that's why I've been missing you lately. I miss the way we are split for the rehearsal, so I'm home without you. You are awake before me; my bed feels cold. Then you are touring again, and I can't quite imagine not spending everyday with you. Sometimes I forget we lead two very different lives. Cause you make it real for me.
You are there for me, when my head is strong, but my heart is weak. You are there to help me figure out life, to figure out who I am and who I want to be. I can't explain the shift, but it's there. We've not had a major fight yet. It will happen, I'm full of arrogance, and uncertainty. Your fiery, and it will hurt. I know we can both get over it. I want to be with you, I just don't know how to express it properly. I've never felt like this before, when I can find the words, you teach my heart to speak. I've never been in love, maybe I've thought I was, but now I disagree. This is a different feeling, much more powerful, because you make it real for me.
Everybody's talking in words, I just sometimes don't hear them. If I do, I don't understand. They've been banging on about love, but I didn't understand. I think I might do now though. It's nothing like I could have imagined, now I know that you've got to be the only one. The only one, who knows just who I am. You're shining in the distance, lighting the nights sky for me, when it all seems like it's dark. I hope I can make it through, cause the only place that I want to be is right back home with you. You have started to light up my life, and I'm completely and utterly in love with you.
I guess there's so much more I have to learn, I'm new to all of this. If I'm completely honest, I'm probably quite crap, but if you're here with me, I know which way to turn. I know who to look at. You can help me, not just with the romantic stuff but with life in general. You always give me somewhere I can run. I feel safe with you, with you wrapped up in my arms.
You make it real for me
