The Four Chimes

Chapter 9 - LERA

"Will that be all today, ma'am?"

"Yes. Thank you!"

"No, thank you! Have a wonderful night!"

I looked over at Tsano. I don't know how she was able to smile for so long without her lips hurting.

"Oh. My god. Why did I choose this job?" I griped.

"Because you're good at it?"

"You've seen me talk to the customers, right?"

"You can be a bit... outspoken at times. But the money speaks for itself."

"If I have to hear another customer ask me how much something is when it says it right there on the display, I think I'm going to make like the Queen and die."

"Too soon."

"Really? She's been dead for what, a week?"

"Five days."

"Okay. So it's not too soon."

"Since when is five days not too soon?"

"What? It's not like I knew her."

"Still. Don't speak ill of the dead."

"It's not like she can hear us."

"Would you joke about me like that if I died?"

"No. Because I actually care about you. And not in the she's-a-human-and-I'm-a-human baseline empathy type way. I would... I can't even picture it if you died. I... It's not a future I like to think about."

"And to think I thought you wanted me dead all this time."

"Maybe you're right. Keeping my friends close and my enemies closer. And one day, I'm just going to... yah!" With clenched fists, I stabbed an imaginary knife into her throat.

"Oh no! I'm dying! Tell my mother... I love her..." Tsano fell on the floor laughing.

"Guys?" Ari walked in from the front room. "Wait... Tsano... What are you doing on the floor?"

Tsano picked up her glasses off the ground, put them on, dusted off her pants, and stood up. "Nothing."

I cleared my throat. "She was checking the floor for an infestation."

"Of what?"

"...an infestation of... bees."

"An infestation. Of bees."

"Yes."

"Bees?"

"Don't joke. It's a serious problem. Bees kill."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know--"

"I'm messing with you!" I laughed to myself. I looked around, surprised when I was met with silence.

Tsano glanced at me. "I feel like you just made him confused. And not in a funny way."

"But I'm funny."

"Then why is nobody laughing?"

"I was laughing. And you were laughing at my thing before."

"Because you're funny. But the stuff you do... isn't."

"That's open to interpretation."

"And the current interpretation is that the stuff you do isn't funny."

"I--"

Tsano smiled, looking at Ari and me. "All present who decree that Lera Taxas is not funny, please raise your hand for the court."