Hold On Tight

[Eight] I Just Want A Chance

Tyler set his bags down right inside his front door, his morning training session tougher than usual. Every muscle in his body ached and all he really wanted to do was sleep and dream about a certain blue-eyed girl who had seemingly dropped off the face of the earth once again.

It had been almost a month since the night she told him she would try to be friends with him, and though he had went back to that bar multiple times during the last three weeks with the hope he would run into someone who knew her, she had vanished. Tyler tried not to panic – or at least not let the gut-wrenching fear show to anyone around him. He had her – she was right there – and now he was terrified he had missed his chance.

Preseason started in two days and his mind was so focused on Haley that he wasn't ready for it. If he hadn't been so enamored with seeing her again and had actually gotten her number, then they would be three weeks closer to forming something. Now, he would have to try to win her back in between games and traveling. To gain her trust while he was gone for days at a time with women in clubs who were determined to sleep with a hockey player. He had left her for that life – she wasn't going to easily believe he was ready to give it all up again, especially after what happened before.

But he wanted a family. He wanted to have kids and a filled house with more than just his dogs. Sure, he loved going out with his friends after wins and he liked to drink, but it didn't mean anything when life just felt empty. He saw Jamie with Avery – how she was always more than down with going out and drinking with the guy, how much he loved her, how he walked into every jewelry store looking for the perfect ring – and he wanted that. And when he looked into his future, the only one he ever saw by his side was Haley.

He wished he had never let the pressures of being a young NHL player ruin the best thing that had ever happen to him. HE listened to players who had a concrete spot on the team and became someone he hadn't recognized anymore. In the end, he had lost not only his girl, but he was traded away from a team he thought he would retire with.

He wasn't proud of his behavior back then – the drunk nights, the waking up in random beds, the ego – it wasn't who he was supposed to be. It wasn't who he was with Haley. With her, he loved his life sober. He was only twenty years old, and he saw the rest of his life mapped out in front of him. And he had liked what he saw.

Until his team started chirping.

It had all stated with them making fun of how whipped he was – always calling or texting her, inviting her to everything he could, the planned dates... then they started requesting that Haley not be invited to go out with them. After that, I had seemed like every willing chick was pushed onto him until he wanted to stop saying no.

Tyler wasn't proud of it. Though he never had sex with anyone else while he was with Haley, he could vaguely remember making out with someone before he broke up with her.

And he hated himself for it. He never wanted her to know what he did. Not because of how it made him look, because he already knew how much of an asshole he's been to her, but because he didn't her to be hurt anymore than she already was. She left the fucking state to get away from him. What was she going to do when she found out he had cheated on her? That's a trust he couldn't get back, no matter how much he tried to do so.