Roommates (GirlXGirl) ✓

Chapter 18

Lara-Jean

Slam.

I swear to God the whole room rattled when Covey slammed the door, and I was left just staring behind her.

She seemed angry, I thought to myself sarcastically before sinking unto the floor, burying my face in my palms. My back was up against the wall and I slowly and steadily tried to control my breathing.

I couldn't fall apart now, my mum was coming and she hated to see me fall apart. It would just make her angry.

I picked myself up from the floor and swallowed hard. Then I got back to cleaning up the room, I had lost count of how many times I had done this. All I knew was that everything had to be perfect. Everything just had to be perfect.

There was a knock on the door, I had barely gotten to it when it swung open revealing my mum.

"Oh," my mum said when she noticed my hand which had been reaching towards the door handle awkwardly lingering in the air, "you were taking too long."

It had not been up to three seconds.

She reached over and hugged me. Or rather crushed her body against mine. It was uncomfortable and strained, just like everything else between us.

Just as in her usual manner, she began walking around the room-looking into every crook, trailing her pointer finger along the cupboards looking for any trace of dirt. Back at home this was something she did every other week. I released the breath I hadn't realized I was holding once my mum abruptly nodded my head in approval, before sitting down in the dresser chair, crossing her legs.

"So um, why did you decide to visit all of a sudden?" I asked. Those were my first words to her and I didn't know whether I should have beat around the bush first rather than diving head deep.

"I was in town," came my mum's reply. Just quick, straight to the point.

I nodded my head slowly taking in my mother's appearance. She had short braids in and was a few inches taller than me. I looked so much like her, it debunked all the childhood fantasies I used to tell myself of being adopted.

"I don't like the smell. Vanilla. It stinks." My mum suddenly said, crumpling up her face.

Vanilla. That was the scent of Covey's body spray. I was in love with that scent, I breathed it in every evening when I was snuggled up against her. I bit my lip but said nothing.

My mum suddenly got up again and walked over to Covey's side of the room and I felt my heart quicken.

"Mum, that side belongs to my roommate." I said idiotically as if she didn't already know that, the thing was she just didn't care.

She began ruffling through Covey's bed and retrieved a small black book from under her pillow. I stared at it blankly.

Then I realized what it was, Covey had a diary or journal of some sorts. I couldn't believe a girl like her, having a journal. It made me smile inside then I remembered she most likely hated my guts right now and my heart fell, breaking into a thousand pieces.

"Lara-Jean." My mother stated my name, her voice was laced with venom.

That's when I noticed that the book was wide open, and she had been skimming through it these past few minutes I had been in la la land.

Clearing her throat my mum read out, "Monday the first of October, Lara-Jean and I kissed."

She stopped there, slamming the book shut, tossing it aside. Her eyes burned. My heart was picking up speed, I needed to say something. Anything it didn't need to be true, to throw her off my back, I couldn't have her know about Covey and I.

My mouth opened to speak but the words never came out. My throat was dry and I felt as if it were closing up.

Just at that moment, my room door opened revealing a slightly flustered looking Covey, she was wearing the long sleeve shirt I had thrown at her and paused when she saw my mum.

"Oh, look who it is," my mum said.

Oh shit.

Covey finally walked into the room, each step she took seemed to draw on the strings of my heart. I watched, holding my breath as Covey plastered an uncomfortable smile on her face and reached out her hand to my mum.

"Nice to finally meet you.."

Smack.

That was the sound of my mum slapping Covey's hand away. I jumped as the echo rang through our dorm room. I didn't know what to do, I was just frozen to the spot. I felt like I was watching a movie, an angst filled horror movie; but I wasn't and this was real, which just made it a hundred times worse.

"You dirty homosexual," my mum spat at Covey and everything after that happened so fast.

Covey's eyes came up to meet mine, immerse confusion was woven into her green eyes, and hurt. There was no denying the hurt that I saw there.

She tore her eyes away from mine and that's when she noticed the state of her bedside corner.

"Ma'm," she said slowly, dangerously. She was trying to keep the anger at bay, "have you been going through my stuff?"

My mum laughed.

I flinched at the sound, it was spiteful.

"Good thing I did so." My mum stated, "I cant have my daughter with a homosexual. I'm sure you watch her while she dresses. I saw you already kissed her, God knows what other dirty filthy acts you have forced her to do."

Forced?

It still had not clicked in my mums two brain cells, I felt hurt in my chest.

"No."

I was shocked when I heard my voice. It wasn't feeble, it was strong as well.

There was a moment of silence. It was tense and seemed to stretch out.

"What?" My mum said, spinning around so fast. Her eyes were blazing as she stared into mine, but I didn't back down. I only stared back, matching her intensity.

"No." I repeated, and this time my legs moved, taking me to where Covey was in the room, and I stood next to her. My eyes were still glued to my mum.

"Covey didn't force me to do anything that I didn't want to."

With that I took my fingers and laced them with Covey's, turning my head I looked up at her.

"Are you sure about this?" Covey whispered, to which I nodded before tearing my eyes to look back at my mother.

Genuinely, she looked like she was about to faint. Her eyes were fixed on Covey and I's interwoven hands, her expression blank. Unreadable.

Maybe she would be fine with it. Maybe she'd understand. I was her daughter at the end of the day, she should love me no matter what.

I should have known that things like that only ever happened in imaginations and Wattpad stories. My mother's next words shattered me:

"I should have known..your father would be turning in his grave." She picked up her handbag, her face blank, her voice empty. When she got to the door, I paused.

I felt Covey's hands squeeze mine and I squeezed back, still hopeful. I could feel the sweat trickling down my face now.

"Don't bother coming home. Ever."

Those were my mum's last words before she walked out of the room. Shutting the door behind her. Shutting me out of her life.

Forever.