As time went on , my attraction to Ms. Roberts grew and grew exponentially by the day. I started writing love letters and poems ; something which previously, i thought was lame. One day she wrote to me when i was feeling down on myself. It read that," Sean you are amazing, you are awesome, you are not a waste of time, God has a plan for you, you've made me so happy. Something that i can constantly say for Selena is that her words will stick to you like a never ending virus and they will only unstick once you've adhered to the truth. I managed to seek God, my family and her; through them would i find happiness and comfort in somewhat ....feeling like I'm a nobody
I'm sorry...i can't finish the book. The date is January 16th 2019 and at this point she almost left. Selena I love you, more than anything you would ever imagine. I've lied, mistreated and hurt you. All I wanted to do was see you smile so I thought maybe if I'm what is hurting you, then if I leave you'll be happy. You constantly tell me that it isnt true and I kept saying otherwise. But tonight. I thought I did it. Finally accomplished the task of pushing you away after saying i love you. After trying to call you sel and you said to call me your ex...... everything hit me at once. Knowing I was the reason why. You said that I broken you and I felt horrible. My life felt over. You said you just wanted me to see how it felt. This pain is unlike anything I've felt before. But now after lying and deceiving you, I don't know if I can be that same person. Sel..... if you're reading this I just want to say that i love you. This book was supposed to be for your birthday but I guess all I ever do is fuck things up so my plans never work. Well happy birthday in advance or belated according to when you read this. I know youll live to see many many more. If you're reading this I just want to say I miss you and sorry I let you down. Thank you for giving me a chance to be loved again but if youre seeing this I may already be gone. I love you Selena and you will always be the only person I'll share a pancakes promise with
