Insanity ☆ II

eleven.

" i understood myself only
after i destroyed myself.
and only in the process
of fixing myself, did i
know who i really was. "

☆.·:*¨eleven¨*:·. ☆

MARILYN SAVOURED HER WALK BACK to the Manor, as she knew it would probably be her last time in New York for at least a few decades. She was sure to remember the feeling of light snow on her eyelashes, the smell of Winter, and the distant murmuring of traffic from the inner city. Lastly, she tried to remember the feeling, the emotions, of New York. The city made you feel as if you could do anything, be anything, and have anyone you wanted. It made you feel invincible.

Once back at the Manor, she gathered her bag and began packing all her belongings. She wasn't feeling sad as she was when she left Forks, but actually felt remnants of excitement. After all, she could go almost anywhere she wished, and didn't have to answer to anyone. She was independent, she was her own person, she was Marilyn Rose Kegley. Only, this time she was not going to be weak, fragile, and submissive. She was independent, powerful, with the world at her fingertips.

"You're leaving?" Marilyn turned around to see Grayson, his eyes holding glimpses of sadness and surprise.

"My stay was never permanent. I've decided to continue travelling." She placed down her shirts, turning her full attention to the vampire in front of her. "There's still so much I don't know about myself. This whole experience has helped me realise a few things, but I need to continue this journey on my own."

"Will you come back? I felt like we were only just getting close." He kicked off the doorframe, walking to the beautiful woman, taking her cold hands into his own.

"That's just it." Marilyn looked down at their hands, before meeting his eyes. "There is no 'We'. Even if I stay here, this could never work out." She regretted hurting him, but it had to be done.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not Juniper, Grayson." At this, he recoiled in surprise.

"You, you know about..."

"I figured it out. From the others' hushed conversations, your intentions... she was your mate, wasn't she?"

He sighed, slowly dropping Marilyn's hands. "Yes. She - she had an accident. She was on a walk in the city, and a human girl fell over and cut herself. Juniper attacked her, but a few humans saw the whole thing. The Volturi heard of what happened and killed the witnesses before they killed Juniper too."

Marilyn reached forward, pulling him into a hug. "Distracting yourself from the pain won't make it any easier. Pain demands to be felt and after that, you can finally begin to accept it, like you intend to."

"How'd you know I intend to - oh, you changed my intention." He gingerly pulled out of the hug. "Did you need help packing?"

"I'm actually almost finished. I'll meet you and the others downstairs in a second." She watched with sad eyes as he turned around and left, the guilt slowly creeping through her bones. She never wanted to hurt Grayson but she knew it was necessary. Her stay at the Blackthorn coven would never have been forever, but at least she could leave knowing she had a positive effect on the vampires she had come to love. She had found a friend in Rehema and Clarabelle, and had sent Grayson on a path of acceptance over his loss of Juniper. As for her, she had finally realised how much she valued the Olympic coven, and accepted that, by losing her mortal family, she had gained a new one.

Marilyn carried her bag downstairs, before dropping it on the last step before she was enveloped in a hug. "You'll always have a place here, Mar." Rehema whispered, before pulling back and allowing the other coven members to say goodbye.