1//Stop This

146 3 1

by Athenaaashh

by Athenaaashh

A/N Max is autistic fuck you, no ship just edge™

Tw: Meltdown, and self harm

I couldn’t breath, why was I still here? I needed to focus, my can’t I focus, David wasn’t home so I was able to stumble to the bathroom. Tearing open the cabinets under the sink I found my little red box.

I took out my razor and reminded myself of the promise I made a couple months ago… he didn’t have to know if it was just once more? I pushed up the sleeves of my hoodie and saw my old scars.

Just one more wouldn’t hurt, I told myself as I made the fourth one tonight. I looked down at my arms, blood seeping out of my new wounds. I smiled, just as I heard someone walk into the house. Fuck. David, please not him, he would be so angry. What if he hurt me?

My eyes widened and I locked the bathroom door. No… nonono no no no no nO! He couldn’t see me like this. H-he can’t. He can’t! I started screaming without noticing, it was too much. I couldn’t breath. My hands were hitting the floor over and over, trying to calm myself down.

Soon they started to bleed and David was trying to open the door “Max? Max are you ok?” He kicked in the door just in time for my screaming to louden.

“NO NO NO! STOP! LEAVE NO!” David understood what was going on and he sat down a few feet away from me… then he saw the cuts on my arms and tried to pick me up. But he couldn’t, I was flapping my hands, no one could get near without getting hit.

I curled my knees into my chest and started sobbing, my arms slowing down. David scooted closer, “hey max… wanna tell me what’s up? Can I touch you?” I nodded and he hugged me. Holding my arms to the side he picked me up, “We’re going to the doctor’s. They can help you,”

“No!” I started kicking my legs, trying to get him to put me down but he didn’t. “Please no!” Tears were streaming down my face and he put me in the car.

***

Everything became a blur, I was in a bed, I was tied down. It was too loud and then… nothing. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t think. I needed to think, I needed to breath, I needed to see! Why couldn’t i?

I blinked open my eyes, it was all white. There were very bright, white lights? Where was I? Turing to the side I saw my Dad, crying, “D-david? Where am I? Am I ok? Are you ok?”

Then it all hit me, “Oh, oh god, David I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t want to…” My hands started to move up and down in an upset fashion.

“Hey… Max it’s alright,” my hands slowed down, “I understand, you just need to talk to me. I love you Max, you’re my kid!” David put his face in his hands and his back started to shake, “I almost lost you… again. I can’t deal with that Max…”

“I-I know… I just… I can’t deal with it either, ya know?” I sighed, and started playing with my sheets, “I’m sorry,”

“I just… I love you, but you need help.” he sighed, “I scheduled a therapist appointment for you,” I opened my mouth, “Before you say anything, I know you don’t want to go to one. But I can’t just let you keep hurting yourself, so please, Max?”

I opened my mouth.... “Fine,” I looked at the ground, sighing. “Sorry,”

“I love you, Max,” David looked up at me.

“Love you too dad,”