I Wished For You

Smile On My Face

He finally comes to terms with it, finally realises it when he has to go to the doctor for yawning too much.

Well, not exactly that but the yawning is what really had him thinking.

Before that, Byun Baekhyun's life had been pretty normal. He went to college regularly, did his assignments though he almost always submitted them after the due date. He hung out with his close friends, liked binge watching dramas and animes just like every other university student, or at least the minority of it who didn't like to get hungover at a party and make out with random people.

Baekhyun worried about his grades, his future, his relationship with his friends and family and sometimes about the stigma related to being gay in a mostly homophobic society.

However he got by just fine. His inner circle knew and were highly accepting of his newly disclosed sexual orientation. And god, did he need that support. He felt so insecure about coming out. Baekhyun had doubted the possibility for a long time, especially when he had come up with this irrational adoration for one of his seniors in highschool.

His family, though they had been hard to deal with, had come to accept it too. Baekhyun was more than fine with that.

But he worried and worry meant stress and stress meant stress reliever which meant food because when no one's there, there's always food to rely on. The delicious tastes of all his favourite eatables soothed him. Helped him escape his tough situations, though temporarily, and then come up with solutions.

And if not that, he liked to sleep.

Sleep was the best thing humanity had going on for the entriety of the human race, in Baekhyun's opinion. Temporary death, as he liked to put it, helped him escape the harsh realities until his brain was ready enough, was stable to face everything head on.

Baekhyun liked to think of himself as a tough person because he didn't let anyone else control his life. His life was all his, whether someone liked it or not. If he had good grades, it's because he worked hard and stayed up nights to study and do assignments. If his art was good, it was because he practiced to improve. If he was chubby, it was natural and if someone had the audacity to point it out in a rude manner to him, he was better off without them.

Yes. He liked to think of himself as a strong person. But did that help the feeling of insecurity he always felt creeping up his spine whenever he submitted his paper or posted his fanart or went out shopping for clothes? Nope. And so, Baekhyun thought, maybe the vulnerability he felt about having to open up to someone in a romantic manner or otherwise, contributed to his lack of romantic relationships and evidently small number of friends.

But no matter how less in number, Baekyun had amazing friends.

His friends, Kim Jongdae and Zhang Yixing were very supportive and always told him he was cute.

"There's no way you're still single. You're so fucking cute without even trying." Jongdae would complain.

"He's right bro" Yixing would side up with him but it hurt.