A/N: Words in "bold" is my friend speaking, words in "italics and bold" is me speaking. The rest is the actually story.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nothing natural in life is straight.
"Noodles, hello."
"Noodles are man made."
"Touche."
Nature embraces curves, gays embrace curves. Nature is gay, therefore gay is okay.
"Welcome to K-2798's Ted talk. Gay is okay."
So why the hell did man decide it's not? Because they were afraid.
"Because of the white man."
Too much curves. The men weren't getting enough. Straight is good, curve is bad. Then boooooooommmmmm!!! Christianity strictly forbid curves.
"Homophobia was born."
And thus began the age of straight homophobic rule. Until one day, some guy thought to himself...
"I like dick."
"Now there's too much perfect, why not add a splash of all natural." And he proclaimed his love for the same sex. He was outcasted. Then... A woman stepped up, and she said... "I like boooooobbbbssss!!!"
"Tits."
And the men were mad. "She wants to take what is ours!" they shouted, and they outcasted her. Until more and more proclaimed their love for curves!
"Take that straight white man."
They didn't want straight anymore, they were tired of it. Down with the hierarchy!!!
"This reminds me of feminism."
But no, there was too much straight! So the curves did what they had to do. Go to war. Straight versus curve. Man against man.
"Killed all the straights."
Woman against woman.
"Never man against woman, never."
"Sure, some woman against man."
Woman against man. But the straight tyranny was brought to it's knees. No longer shall the curved be banned and punished. At least, that's what they thought...
"They could not just live in harmony?"
"Nooooooooo...."
The straight never truly rests until it achieves world domination. It's way, is the only way. Their reign upon the world created over population. People couldn't be fed. Dying, people were dying. Nature made its way back to reclaim what was once taken. But the straight men and women did not want to allow such unruly curves onto their godly soils.
"And the Pansexuals arose!"
They ravished the lands, stripped mother earth of all her beauty. So when the curves rose again, they weren't doing this just for equality. They fought for what life was meant to be itself. Curvey....
And when the war ended, the curved stood on top of the dead, and claimed that day as the day all shall remember. They brought peace into the world, and fixed what was once tainted by the nefarious straights.
"Yay!"
They demolished their god, and their religions until nothing was left. And when a straight rose again. It was he who found it hard to live. Until one day the curved forbid discrimination, for even in a world of many curves, there is still some straight somewhere.
"The End."
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A/N: There will be a copy of the same story sometime without the commentary from my friend and me, if you didn't like extras check out the other book.
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Something A Little Like This
Short StoryA serious of collected short stories or random nonsense stories I made up out of nowhere. Has commentary from either me or my friends or both. Check out the other book for stories without commentation.