Where It Went Wrong » Larry

12 - In The Moment

IN THE MOMENT

Louis was back at his own house but not alone for once. He had Liam by his side who was flicking through his music, playing it out loud and letting the stereo take over the thoughts that were consuming and swallowing Louis. It was drowning out all the other thoughts, not letting him focus on anything besides the fact that Liam was being an obnoxious fucker, playing Louis's own cringe worth lyrics out loud.

"Seriously mate, you're first singles were funny as fuck." Liam chuckled, changing it to another song and laughing along to all the lyrics, singing loudly.

Louis smiled. "You remember the lyrics though, don't you? Look at you, singing along."

Liam rolled his eyes, blushing. "Of course I remember your lyrics, they are my best friend's!"

"You're such a bloody weirdo," Louis sighed, shaking his head. In actual fact, Louis felt very flattered when people listened to his music and they could remember the lyrics back to his first single. It was comforting to know there was people supporting him, way back in time when Louis had no faith in himself. He was a lost idiot, foolish and heartbroken and he was a depressing pessimistic.

Now, Louis has managed to improve -- enough to say he's feeling okay and not feel a heavy weight on his tongue from the guilt of lying so easily. He was getting on, managing and dealing with situations much easier than before and with much more ease. Sure, there is still pain and hurt and it surrounds Louis's life on a daily basis and truthfully, that's never going to go away. It wasn't going to get steadier now that Harry had managed to squirm his way back into Louis's rather fucked up life. It just all felt like one bloody big mess, but a better mess than before.

"Hey!" Liam sulked, pouting like a child before swatting Louis playfully on the shoulders. He turned the music down, facing Louis more closely now. "You don't call your brother a weirdo, say sorry."

Louis scoffed, rolling his eyes and muttering a quick "no," before grinning widely and grabbing his own phone.

He hardly went on any social media recently, finding that his life seemed to feel better when he wasn't inviting himself to the endless hate he receives. Ever since the party with Zayn, more and more people have been sending Louis hate: calling him gay, fag and what not and Louis doesn't mind. That's what he is, he is gay and it's glad that people can see that besides the lie of him being with Eleanor. He just wished things were different enough to be able to have Harry, without Dalton involved, and walk down the streets hands in hands. He might not have that, not now and not ever and it brought a tingle to Louis, goosebumps on his arms and an weird ache to his chest.

"How's things between you and Harry?" Liam asked.

It seemed like whenever Louis was thinking of him, the subject was always brought up and mentioned and it became hard for Louis to give an answer. He didn't know what to say. It was good because he was actually seeing Harry with his own two eyes, seeing the beauty he captured and how the whole world was mesmerized by him -- especially himself. But it was bad as well, he could never have that insane beauty for himself, he could never make Harry feel good with his own two hands and his own words. That was all he wanted, besides the singing career and it was one ambition, one dream he wasn't able to make come true.

Maybe that's what made Louis so upset about this whole situation. It was what he didn't say, what could never be from this perfect hot mess that they both have created. Louis knows there's unresolved feelings here, there's still a spark waiting to ignite but Harry is needy of Dalton, he is completely gone and in love with Dalton. How many times is Louis going to have to remind this to himself before he finally realises and backs away? He isn't sure himself.