I don't know.... I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know how to act or react. I don't know what to say. I don't know who to be. It's as if who I once was, has been taken away from me and now I'm no one... Arguments I have with the people I love and care for begin over nothing or simple little things. When I'm upset, I stay that way for a long amount of time. I shut down. And I don't know why.... What I do know is this: I've hurt the one person I love most in the world for the past few days..... and.... I'm not sure if.... I even care that I did hurt her..... I have been pushed to the point of no return. I've been pushed past my limits of the crap I can take from people. I don't know who I've become but.... I know it helps me not care. What do I do? How can I change back? Maybe there is no answer.... I just hope that I figure all this out soon.... Cuz if I don't...... I may not have her anymore.... I'm just so... Angry!!!! And I don't know why I am!!!!! I've been pissed off because of stupid reactions my father has had about things I try to do to make him proud of me, but he never is.... I've been pissed because I feel like I'm a failure to the love of my life.... I don't deserve her... She's too good for me... I'm just an evil person...... I've been pissed because I feel unwanted by everyone around me... I've been pissed because I feel like I'm lying to the love of my life when I have dreams.... about certain people from my past.... and the things that happen in those dreams... I feel like I should be mad all the time and I don't know why!!! I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I am anymore!! Am I going to heaven or hell?! I don't know... I'm not even sure of that.... But what am I supposed to do to figure this out?... It's simple.... I don't know!!...
