Alone

Chapter 6

For a long time, I talk to Jenna. Well, write to Jenna.

         She tells me a lot of things I never knew before. Things like how an alien can come by and press a button so that you can communicate with it – both ways, not just a one-way thing.

         She tells me about her parents, in the tubes next to Cameron. She gets him to lean back so I can see them both. Her mother, in the tube next to Cameron, is where Jenna gets her blonde hair and pale skin. Her father, in the tube farthest from me, is where Cameron gets his slightly darker skin and where both of them get their green eyes.

         They both smile warmly at me, but their smiles are tired, their faces sagging.

What happened to them?

         Jenna knows what I’m talking about. She rubs out her glass and fogs it up again before writing a response.

The same thing that happened to the rest of us

         That means that whatever it was that made adults’ hair gray faster and their faces tire quicker also happened to Jenna. Suddenly, I don’t want to know.

         I have a feeling she doesn’t really want to say, either. Her shoulders slouch and I wonder what time it is. There aren’t any windows in this room, after all.

         Soon, Jenna falls asleep. The rest of her family does, too. I sit on my heels at the floor of my capsule, but no matter how hard I try, my eyes refuse to shut, my mind refusing to settle.

         I need to get out of here. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I can’t stay here. Maybe if I can get out of this tube, I can sneak a ride on an alien somehow and get back home.

         My eyes wander, and they rest on Jenna. She’s only nine, I think, remembering what she told me. And she’s never been on Earth. All she’s known is that capsule. It’s her home.

         I wonder if I can leave Jenna. If it depends on my survival, I probably could. She’s just a little girl.

         My eyes wander over to Cameron’s capsule, next to Jenna’s. I’m surprised to see him awake, looking at me. My eyes only meet his for a second though, because then he turns away quickly, looking embarrassed.

         But I have something to ask him, so he’d better turn my way soon.

         I breathe on the glass over a big surface so he’ll be able to read it from far away.

Have you ever been on Earth?

         He does look back. When he sees my question, he fogs up his glass, too, and writes back.

Only my first year. I don’t remember it there.

         Doesn’t remember it. He doesn’t remember what it’s like on luscious, green Earth. My luscious green Earth.

Is it nice?

         I smile to myself at his question. I rub out my previous words and respond simply.

It’s nice.

         He smiles back to me. Then he looks away and closes his eyes. Sleeping.

         Even surrounded by so many people, I am still alone. Alone again, all by myself. Watching, awake, while the rest of the world sleeps.

         I start to sing to myself, since no one can hear. “I remember tears streaming down your face when I said ‘I’ll never let you go’.” I rub out my conversation with Cameron, wondering what Jenna meant when she said he loves me. “Likes me” as she put it.

         “When all those shadows almost killed your light.” I miss Mars. It’s hard to think about him. I’m glad he’s still on Earth, though – not in a glass cage. He’s on the planet we shared together.

         “I remember you said, ‘Don’t leave me here alone’.” I can’t help thinking of Jenna. Could I really leave her?

         “But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight.” My eyelids are falling.

         “Just close your eyes. The sun is going down. You’ll be all right. No one can hurt you now. Come morning light. You and I’ll be safe and sound.” My voice is slurred, the words mumbling over each other.

         “Don’t you dare look out your window, darling everything’s on fire. The war outside our door keeps raging on. Hold on to this lullaby. Even when the music’s gone.

         Gone.”

         “Just close your eyes. The sun is going down. You’ll be all right. No one can hurt you now. Come morning light. You and I’ll be safe and sound.”

         Mars’ lullaby triggers something in me. It’s this weird, warm feeling behind my eyes and this stinging feeling in my nose. At first, I think there’s something wrong with me, but once I start leaking, water coming out of my eyes, I know that this place must have broken me.