The Woman Scorned

The Split

If a guy breaks up with a girl she will scream and shout and curse him and tell him that his penis was too small anyways. Right? At least that is what I am constantly being told I should have done. Why does it seem normal to expect someone to hate the other person simply because they are no longer with that person? I also wonder why the last two boys I dated felt the need to drink before they decided to tell me that they didn’t think I was the one. Do guys have it so thoroughly beaten into them that girls are so unreasonable that alcohol seems like the only possible way to survive the encounter? I personally believe that smelling alcohol on the boys’ breath is kind of annoying. The only way you can face me is drunk.

What would be worse?

Scenario 1-

     Boy: I don’t think we should see each other anymore…

     Girl: Why you fucker! Your penis will shrivel up and die! I faked it every time! Etc etc etc

OR

Scenario 2-

     Boy: I don’t think we should see each other anymore…

     Girl: Ok.

     Boy: Are you alright?

     Girl: Yes. I wasn’t overly attached to you yet anyways.

OR

Scenario 3-

     Boy: I don’t think we should see each other anymore…

     Girl: Alright.

     Boy:Should I leave?

     Girl: That would be great.

I don’t think our reaction is really the problem here. I think that if you are calm, the boys are offended. If you are crazy, the boys think you are bat shit crazy (rightfully so). If you are upset and ask them to leave, they feel like they crushed your soul.  Lose, lose, lose.

The Recovery Time

Do guys really believe that when a girl’s heart gets broken she will simply curl up on the couch, eat buckets of ice cream and watch chick flicks until they are over it? I will admit that ice cream cones were eaten but considering the 30-degree weather in the summer I feel there may have been other motivators. So what should a heart broken young woman do when she feels lonely now? The knee jerk reaction is to pick up your phone and text or call your boyfriend, but that’s not an option. Every two minutes for the next few weeks you will probably pick up your phone to text him, but you can’t. So you try and watch movies with friends, but every movie or commercial reminds you of him so you reach for your phone again and the cycle continues. You call up friends that you haven’t in months and you try to keep busy so you don’t think about him, but every time you stop and look around you’re reminded of him. Next you try to go to bed early so you don’t have to deal with everything, but you find yourself trying to snuggle a pillow since your bed feels empty without him. What is a girl to do? How do you forget about someone that occupied so much of the last year of your life?

Moving Forward

As a newly single woman with a healing heart and I am no longer getting regular sex, with a friend that is in the same situation (dumped 2 weeks apart) the obvious reaction is to start looking at whoever is closest as a potential new boyfriend. The logic your brain is screaming at you is that you can replace him. True or not, you are willing to try before you cry yourself into dehydration.