Kazune's autobiography

Met my real dad

After having good one year, mostly suffering inside my heart. My wall i building inside my heart went strong even i couldn't break. It's was nearly around August and i were going home, our house was just walking distance from school. I'm only the one get home early than to other siblings. My mom work and and step dad was driver. Before i get reach the house i saw a man standing at the front of our house. I didn't thought of him as a stranger when i saw him.

Somewhat i feel "lukso ng dugo" so i ask him what he was doing in front of a house, i didn't say it's our house. He look at me and i stared to him suspiciously. So before i talk again he saw my expression and told me that he was look for a woman. I'm surprised she mention my mom's name, from that moment i remember about my real dad, trying not to hope that he was him. I ask if he his name was (-). When he said yes. I couldn't hold my tears and just cried like i never cried. All my question started to randomly scrambled inside my head. Tears won't stop even i try to stop myself from crying. I wasn't sure which one i ask first. However my father panicked because i started crying out of the blue. He was funny that time but the only thing i said to him was my name. When he heard my name he hug me and keep apologizing, i felt the warmth of his hug and the love of a father who's longing for his child.

Then a my stepdad arrive seeing us. It look like my dad and my stepdad know each other. They're not surprised seeing each other. My stepdad and my dad talked inside the house while i was in my room thinking of what should i ask first. Im overly excited, happy, and mix emotions of that moment., i started hiccuping and thrilled. Even im hiccuping, the first thing i notice were the height different between them. I thought "my real dad is tiny". I immediately get dressed and met and have time talk to my real dad. Because i know I'm running out of time. I have to have or get even one hour or more to spent time with my real dad.

I feel alive, free, and overly happiness i never had in all years i had. My step dad give us some privacy and he were going to watch out for mom. My dad pet my head and notice my hiccups is nonstop. He hug me and kiss my head and called my name. My hiccups stop and we talk for almost 2 hours.
He saw the real me even he haven't spent that much around me. I showed to him my class card and he told me that his proud and and going love me way more than he love mom. He want to ask me questions but i can't jump in because I'm talking nonstop telling him what life i had and how i am at school. He smiled like his enjoy my story. But unfortunately my mom get home and she pushed him out of the house and telling him never come to back.but my stepdad stoping her and saying that he have the right to see me and to know me. But my mom is unreasonable and get i was so mad, and sad and upset my dad ask me to get to my room before my mom let her anger out to me. I couldn't get mad to my mom. Because i don't want her to feel i disrespecting her. Afterwards my mom and stepdad discuss the issues and get into arguments about it. I hide to my closet trying not to hear the words my mom yelling in front of my room. While my step dad trying to calm her down.

From there, the dark place of my closet. The thought started again.
"It's okey, it's my fault mom get mad because of my fault, it's okey i just need to apologize, i have to be good girl and obey her, she'll be happy if i obey her, it's alright, mom love me she's just had bad day, it's fine i have to be a good girl, and everything will back to normal,".
Then again emotions are sealed again, the happiest feeling i had were just for few hours, however the feeling weren't gone, i kept it inside and someday i will have time with my real dad.