We're all sitting in my living room and everyone is having a good time.
It's about six of us, and were all hanging out.
I take a sip from my drink and glance over at her. She looks beautiful as always. I'm on the other side of the room, far away from her as possible. Being around her makes me do dumb shit. She looks over at me just in time to see me looking at her. I look away, but the pull of her gaze makes me look at her one more time. I look over in time to see Him sit next to her, he places his hand around her and kisses her on the cheak. I look away annoyed. I want to hate him so bad but I can't. I know him too well, I know how much he loves her. A lump of guilt fills me up when I question if she even love's him back. I look over again just in time to meet her gaze. I want to say I know the answer to my question. I want to say that she love's me. If eye's could speak, her eye's and mine would be making love right now. In front of all of our friends. Someone says something to me and I divert my gaze away from her. I take another sip of my drink and pretend to be interested in whatever the person was talking about. I want to look at her again, if I can't have her I at least want to see her. I glance again, this time he sees me. Shit does he know? I feel like my feelings are being exposed. I know this is wrong. Even If she feels the same way I do, I still can't be with her without hurting my best friend. I politely excuse myself from the conversation and head to the kitchen.
Food always calms my nerves so I take the leftovers out of the fridge. While humming a song I can't get out of my head.
Just as I close the fridge door, I see her standing there. I look shocked for a moment, but I'm also glad that she's alone. Hey she says in that flirtatious, none flirtatious kind of way. Hey I reply kinda awkward. I place the leftovers in the microwave and sit by the bay window in the kitchen. Secretly I hope that she doesn't come over, but I'm still hoping she comes over. At this point I'm convinced that I don't know what I want.
She's walking over and speaking to me at the same time and even though I hear what she's saying, I'm hypnotized by her. It's as if time decided to slow down just for her. She sits next to me and my heart starts to race, her voice is soft and angelic. She's talking about her summer vacation. I nod and try not to stare at her lips too long. She touches my hand and her touch sends a wave of emotions through my body. Why is she here? Why is she not outside with him ? Why is she having skin on skin contact with me? She laughs at something and I admire how beautiful her laugh is. I want to kiss her so bad but I know I shouldn't. I don't even know if she would want that as well. I'm about to lean into her and just do it, but instead I just lean forward and rub my forehead. If I keep this up it will surely drive me insane.
Then a thought runs through my head. What if this situation was the other way around. Would I be mad if my best friend was in love with my girlfriend?
I ignore the thoughts in my head and pray that my best friend forgives me.
Because at this point I don't even care anymore. In my head she's already mine. I sit upright and lean over to her. I place my hand under her chin and tilt her head in my direction. I pause for a moment as I gaze at her lips. Giving her enough time to move away. But enough time passes and she's still waiting. A thrilling feeling moves through me when I realize that she's waiting on me to kiss her. So I wasn't imagining things! I finally lean in even closer and kiss her soft lips. I place my hands on her hip and her hand run through my hair. She's kissing me back! I can't hold back the sensation of the moment, it leaves me in aw. I place her leg over mine. This is wrong, this is wrong, this is so wrong. I know we shouldn't be doing this. Halfway through our make out session, we pause and catch our breath. The silence is so heavy that I'm afraid she's about to get up and run out on me. I wouldn't even be mad at her. Then she says the words I've been hoping to hear from her for years. I have feelings for you she says softly. I nod before saying I have feelings for you too. We gaze at each other again before we continue. I'm so lost in her kiss, in this moment, in the sensation that I hardly even hear the kitchen door open. We turn around simultaneously and my heart almost stops. We both quickly get up and step away from each other. We look like criminals who've just committed the worst crime there is. We've committed a crime of the heart. My best friend is standing in front of us, looking and most likely feeling betrayed. The room is silent as he looks from her to me.
This kiss ended a lot of things that night. An old friendship and a relationship. But it also made room for something beautiful, a relationship that lasted beyond most people's expectations, It lasted for years to come. Looking back now I realized that we were meant to be together. Regardless of who was getting hurt, she was worth it to me. When we got older we got married.
I would loose another friend for her in a heartbeat. Before she became my girlfriend we where friends, she eventually became my wife. But she was always my soul mate.
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The song he can't get out of his head is.
Maroon 5 - she will be loved
