Hospital Walls

Back to School

It was Wednesday, doctor cleared me for school, but with a warning that I need to take care of myself. That sentence is not familiar to me because I never take care of myself, that's not natural to me, because I always look after others even when I am in pain. But even then, a smile will do cover for the pain. 

It was 11:28 pm, which meant that my bus leaves in 2 minutes. As the two minutes passed, you could hear the bus door closing, and the driver was starting the engine, the familiar sound of the engine starting filled the whole bus.

As my friend which usually goes with me, Delilah, is having class earlier this day, I was alone. I liked being alone, me and my thoughts. I was thinking of going back to school, how will my pain be, how will my classmates react, lots of thought were running loose in my head and I didn't know which one to investigate first.

My thoughts were broken off by the door opening, and my 3 friends walked in. The next thing I knew is their arms around my waist. They warmed my body and I felt wanted by someone. A smile was forming on my face as I hugged each one of them hard.

Leila sat with me, and Emana and Ali sat in the seat behind mine. We turned to them and the talk began. Lots of gossip, boys talk, heart breaks, but I wasn't listening. I was just happy that I am back with my friends and I could listen to the stories coming out of their mouth.

In matter of seconds we came to the last stop. Our stop. We exited the bus and said goodbye to the driver. We walked extremely close to each other, you could feel how we missed being, well, us. 

We went into the shop so we can buy something to eat, that's our tradition since day one. Weird tradition but, it wouldn't be us if it wasn't weird. We took some snack, as I was first to finish and pay, I exited and waited for them outside. That's when I saw Amy walking towards me, her beautiful blue eyes spread wide when they saw me. I was jealous of her eyes and her smile, it's as natural as possible. As she was getting closer I noticed makeup on her face, so I got mad. She didn't need any, she was a natural.

"Girl, you are back!" she jumped into my arms and a familiar smell entered my nose.

"I am, finally. What's up?" 

"Same all, same all. You fine now? God it's so nice to have you back finally. C'mon let's walk to school together." she said and took my hand. 

"Just a second, I don't know where they are." I said and she looked at me weirdly until she figured it out, Emana, Leila and Ali.

As I was saying that they walked out. Perfect timing. We walked together, me and Amy hand in hand the others just eating their snacks while I finished mine while they were lost in the store. It's amazingly weird how much time they spent in there, like it's a maze and they're lost. 

(I will skip the part talking with my teacher, but she is a person that I would call whenever I needed someone to talk to, she was like a mom not just to me, but the whole class)

Me, Amy and Ali walked into the school together and went to the classroom. I opened the door and there was my whole class clapping and screaming. I was about to cry when teacher hugged me, and so did Amy and Ali. I was so amazed, and I went from one to another and gave them big hugs saying 'thank you' to each one of them. 

On the table stood,a boy with a pink bow, inside the box were a lot of candies and when I say a lot, I mean A LOT. And yeah, there were 4 balloons attached to the box.

.....

As the day went, classes finished and I walked to the bus station with my friends and thought, what did I do to deserve this? When I hugged each one of them I felt the same but when I hugged him, David, I felt something different. 

It felt like, butterflies in my stomach, the pain, feeling of love. 

No, I couldn't.

But I did.

Not by choice, no one falls in love by choice.

The choice isn't actually what I want, it's what heart wants.

It's always been what the heart wants.

I guess

The heart wants what it wants. 

Days passed, my love for him was growing by every day that took part. I didn't want to, but I was slightly slipping into his waters. I became jealous, mad for his curses to me, not mad but hurt. I guess that pain I felt in my chest as I found out more and more about him, was called love.

But nothing worked, I was a fool to think that it would. The most beautiful girl in the whole town was in love with him, and I thought I can get him to like me, maybe even love.

Not the pretty one, the one that put's makeup, the one with a style, ordinary girl with a lot going on in her head.

You know how, when you love someone, you don't see other people trying hard for you? That's my story. Because of David, I didn't see the other guys, that were nice and polite to me. 

He worked in a hospital, 3 years older than me, when he finished med school, education for a nurse he got a job in a hospital that I visit every second day.

He was nice, smiling to me every time he saw me, saying 'hello' and 'goodbye' he even asked if we were cousins which I found a bit funny because his cheeks got this bright red color, I don't know if it was from the question or because he is always like that.

Whenever I looked at him, he looked at me too. It was like he knew when I looked and I knew when he did.

It was very weird, not knowing how he meant a lot of those things, what they meant. I wish I knew, because then I could say that I am in love with him and his freaking blue eyes that leave me breathless every time they met mine.