Memories Fade

Pizza Night

"I know you can talk through my mind, dog." Gia snarled at the wolf who instantly got out of his defensive pose and sat down in front of her, "You took it didn't you? You took my memory." He didn't respond but walked away from her. He turned the corner and was gone when Gia followed him, "I wonder what his real shape is." Gia looked around the now empty house and felt her emotions take hold of her again.

As Gia was about to crumble into a heap of emotions on the ground, Asher came through the doors and put his arms around her, "God, Gia, where did this come from?" He probably wasn't used to having to be this supportive towards their assignments, but she let him comfort her for a little longer.  

"I know I'm dying." She finally got the courage back up to look him in the eyes, "I just. I don't want to focus on it so much right now. I want this to be normal for a minute, at least."

When Asher started to move away from her and there was a brief moment Gia thought she wouldn't be able to keep herself up, "Do you want me to stay?" he asked with uncertainty.

Gia nodded and they sat with him holding her in his lap, his head on top of hers. It wasn't Cadence or her dad, but she needed the human, or close-to-human, contact at that moment and Asher would do. 

When Gia finally felt comfortable enough with stepping out of the comfort of human contact, they stood up. Asher had to stand up slowly because he had lost some feeling in his legs. They stared at each other for a little while and Gia walked towards the front door.

"Where are you going?" Asher asked as she put her hand on the doorknob

"To find real answers," Gia said as she looked back toward him.

"Hey," Asher started, "You know I've never known him to be this tolerant of someone. I wouldn't press my luck. I should probably go with you just in case.

Gia threw her hands in the air and let Asher follow her out the door, down the porch, and into the woods. They searched for what seemed like hours, though Gia wasn't certain how much time had actually past.

"I hate to say this," Asher said as the sun started setting, "but, he's in your head so he knows where you are looking and therefore knows how to avoid you." Gia hated that he was right. She turned around and went back towards the house.

"If this is my mind, why is it so cold?" She asked like poison was on the end of her tongue.

"It's a reflection," Asher answered, "Pretty easy to guess what it means." Gia rolled her eyes knowing he was about to make a  comparison between the bitter cold air and the state of her mind.

When they got back to the house, the lights were on and the chimney had smoke billowing out of it, "guess that's how my mind remembers this place, huh?" she said as she walked into the warm living room. Gia half expected Shin to come around the corner and felt a strange pain in her chest when no one greeted them.

"Want something to eat?" Asher asked as he threw his coat onto the table by the window, "just because I'm dead and living in your mind doesn't mean I don't like to eat. Shin and her soups, ugh. I want some pizza!" Asher talked his way over to the fireplace and warmed up his hands. Gia was still a little confused about the situation, "It's like a dream, you know, even though you might taste the food, you aren't actually eating it. It is the memory of the food, but it is still satisfying."

"You're so different now." Gia didn't bother to chime into the conversation about dinner, she didn't feel like there was much of a point to eating food while in a coma.

"I had to be like that, your wolf was on my case about getting too close." Asher rolled his eyes, "looks like he should have been hounding Shin, right?" He seemed mildly pleased with the pun he threw into the sentence, but Gia had a twinge of pain cross her face that snapped him back to being serious.

"My wolf." Gia thought about that phrase, "he's my guide but he hasn't really guided me, has he?"

"In these modern times, it is a lot harder for spirit animals to help people find their way. That's why we get people." Asher shrugged, "You know how some people connect easier with others? That's what it's like with your spirit animal. Even though it may not seem like you have anything in common with him, that wolf is your wolf."

"What about you and Shin?" Gia stepped towards the fire as well, she basked in the warmth of the tamed flames.

"Well, we are like your twin soul. They match us up to people we share characteristics with. Even though when we've interacted before, I had to be harsher than usual, I'm still similar to you and have a connection. It's really complicated and I'm really not the best to communicate what exactly we do and how we do it, but we have to always maintain a balance with our connections. Connect too much and we end up like Shin, not enough and the person doesn't trust us and has a harder time getting where they need to go."

Gia wasn't sure Asher took a breath while he tried to explain everything. She stared into the fire and thought about what Asher had said. She was still confused but things were starting to become clearer. Asher and Shin were assigned to help her because she would be naturally inclined to accept them due to their similar personalities. She couldn't understand the spirit animal though.

"You know, Do-No is close to his real name." Asher nodded towards the door where the wolf was sitting once more. Gia felt prickles go down her spine at the sight of him and turned away, "Everyone calls him something different, but they always go along the same line as his real name."

Gia couldn't fight the curiosity, "what is his real name?"

"Takoda" Asher smiled at her, "it basically means 'friend to everyone' in his native language," he shrugged and walked towards the kitchen, before she could ask him what he was doing Asher had a hold of the old wall mounted phone.

There was a tugging feeling in Gia's head that made her focus harder on the phone as Asher spoke. She pictured it turning from beige to blue.

Gia's thoughts were interrupted by Asher waving his hand in front of her face, she hadn't realized that her body had followed him until she got out of her trance with the phone, "What toppings do you want?" He seemed annoyed or concerned, she couldn't really tell which.

"Pepperoni and green peppers," she answered without thinking. Asher nodded and told whoever was on the other end of the phone their order. She wondered who would deliver the pizza since she couldn't remember any of their faces. 

Asher was a good distraction for her as they waited for the pizza. She didn't really want to think about how everything worked but would have dwelled if he hadn't had talked about his adventures in the world of being a guide.