Shudder

Her heart was pounding. It was at least 30*C outside and she was burning up. Sitting on the front steps beside him she stared at him as he watched the street. The way his blonde downy soft hair drifted in the warm summer breeze, how it dropped onto his shoulders and flipped up on the tips.

He flips his hair and looks at her with his bright blue eyes, which she quickly averted eye contact with. She used to love those eyes and loved when they looked at her and met her light brown ones. But she was scared and was worried he'd see her fear in her eyes.

Another breeze blows and she could smell it. It was almost unnoticable under the heavy amount of Axe on him, but she could tell what it was. He smoked before he came to see her. She told him not to when he came, she told him it was bad. But he couldn't help it, starting when he was so young it was a habit. It was a part of him... He knew she was right deep down, but he couldn't stop and she knew that too.

"Hey," She smelt the smell of tobacco and mint gum coming from his breath,"Are you okay? You're quiet..," He laughs, "And well that's not like you."

She wanted to leave...why did she ask him to come? She wasn't ready for this, not yet. She didn't want to yet.

She tried to keep her breath steady as she replies, "What do you mean? I'm fine."

His pale hand touches her face and she flinches, moving away from him. Confused, he drops his hand and says, "You're not okay. This isn't like you."

She shook her head despite her head screaming "yes I'm not okay" over and over again like a broken record. She whispered, "I said I'm fine."

This time his voice was hard and stern, "Then look at me."

"I... I can't," She bit her lip nervously.

"Then what's wrong? You almost seemed...scared...What did I do?"

She was scared, hell, she was petrified. What will he do? What will he do? Her heart was beating so fast it was making her even more nervous.

"It's nothing," She lied.

"If it's nothing you wouldn't be trying to get away from me. Are you too hot? Do you wanna go inside?"

Go inside? Go inside?! Was he insane? Inside they'd be covered by curtains and walls and furniture. Inside he could have his way with her... No, no way in hell will she let him inside. She can't handle this, he needs to leave."

N-no it's fine."

"What's wrong?"

She bit her lip again and this time hard enough for it to bleed. Licking her lips she takes a shaky breath. She has to do it. She needs him to leave... She needs to tell him. Another shaky breath then she says, "I need you to leave."

"What?! You asked me to come!"

"You need to leave."

"I will, but I need you to tell me what is the fucking a matter with you."

She shook her head and she could feel the tears welling up, "Everything is wrong. Everything is. And you're presence...it's- it's scaring me. You said you'd do ANYTHING to get me to like you back and I know how you can get. I'm terrified. So please....just leave.."

The tears started rolling down her face and her whole body began to shudder. She sobbed, "I can't do this anymore, dammit! LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE!!"

He debated whether to shake her, hit her, yell at her, threaten her....He was about to grab the knife in his back pocket....until he realized that's exactly what she was scared of. She was right, he can't be here. She's right...again... He sighs, she's always been right.