𝙏𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙁𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧

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Your heart is hard to carry after dark
You're to blame for what we could have been
'Cause look at what we are

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Renée Pov

It’s been about a month since we talked, since the shit show went down and I was just starting to come to terms with not having his presence around. I had stopped crying about 2 weeks ago and I was almost to the point where I could say I was okay.

But today he changed that. My right wrist was enclosed in his hands and his face held an abundance of guilt. Good. The bitter part of me thought.

“What do you want Leon?” My voice already sounded defeated, tired. Everything I had built up -well tried- just crumbled with a simple touch.

“ I just want to talk. “ His eyes glanced around us at our peers who scattered the hallway either going to class of ditching it.

“I don’t “ I hissed out and tried to remove my wrist from his grasp. His grip was tight, not letting up.

“Please.” He searched my eyes for something and I knew he saw a lot.

“Talk then.” It’s not like I had an option with the restraint he had against me. Maybe that was an excuse for the little nagging voice in my head wanting to hear what he had to say.

“I’m sorry. “ He had said this so many times at this point he just sounded like a broken record player and I was so damn tired of hearing him.

“I’ve heard that before, how about you come up with something new.” I snapped back. I knew my nose was flared and jaw clenched. I didn’t want to be near him, being near him made me want to hug him and kill him at the same time.

He threw his free hand up and rubbed it against his face with a deep sigh, “It was a mistake Renée. Everyday I regret doing what I did because it was the worst thing I did. I miss you baby. I miss every little thing about you, about us. I can’t sleep at night without hearing your voice or seeing you. Renée I was drunk, I was fucked up!”

“And in that state you forgot what your girlfriend of 2 years looked like? Did you see my face in hers, cause if you did its not possible. 2 years Leon. There’s no excuse. Please just let me go.” I pulled my arm harder but to no avail.

A wave of irritation places itself on his face, “ Renée come on, at least try to see that I’m sincere. I want you and I want to work this out, cant you see that?!” his tone had turned accusing.

“And who’s fault is that Leon?! Huh? Why are we in this situation Leon? Huh? WHO put us in this situation Leon?” I had my fingers all in his face. I was livid. He was not about to accuse me of something I didn’t do, I was entitled to how I felt.

“We wouldn’t have to be in this situation if it wasn’t for you Leon. Why couldn’t you keep your dick in your pants? When we got together 2 years ago I told you how it was going to be, it was going to be loyalty or nothing and I thought we were doing fine. I really did.” At this point I was poking his chest harshly. I took a step towards to the point that we were basically chest to chest.

“Why did that change Leon?” It was a genuine question, “ What snapped in your mind to make you think that this shit was ok, that I would honestly let this shit slide.” By this point the people moving around us stopped to see what the commotion was but I didn’t care. He wanted to talk so here was his talk.

He looked at me with his mouth shut. His eyes became glassy and his very prominent Adams Apple bobbed. I was sick of seeing his face.

I gave him a hard push at his chest which he wasn’t expecting and freed my wrist from his grasp when he stumbled back, “Get the hell off of me!” His touch burned, I hated it. I hated it so much.

I took quick strides to the exit ignoring everyone in my path, I just needed to get out of here.