Petals

Petals

With my eyes open I ran blindly in the dark with my arms outstretched; a desperate plea for human contact. I ran until my feet bled and my breathing became nothing but a tedious and painful chore. I ran as fast as I could; I ran until I saw him.

He faced away from me, but as I drew closer and closer I lost myself in his smell, in his presence. It felt like an eternity but when I reached out my hand grazed his silk silhouette and instant recognition flooded me with joy. My arms wrapped around his form and my head rested on his back, “he always was too tall” I thought to myself smiling. My fingers interlocked and I started to sway as I held him. His form didn’t move and I felt my hands rip from each other as I twirled around to see his face.

His eyes were empty and his face wore no expression, but nonetheless his gaze met mine when I brushed his cheek. I gasped suddenly as him form began to deteriorate before me; I clutched his shirt with savage determination. He smiled briefly at me and I felt tears roll down my cheeks. Petals flew in a whirlwind around us and it didn’t take me long to realise that they were coming from him. Petals flew into the air until he was gone, but even when he was no longer there; the petals still danced in the air around me; teasing me.

As I watched them bitterly they shone like glass, piecing together into a mirror; it was his reflection staring back at me with a wicked smile. I swivelled around to see if he really was there behind me, but I saw only the imposing darkness. I turned back around; he was still there, smiling, preserved in silk and standing over me in darkness. He reached a hand out to me and I reached out only to feel the cold and hard glass under my fingers. He nodded at me and lifted his hand slightly in offering, I tapped the glass again and his smile widened into a malicious grin. I struck the glass with my fists and the mirror shattered onto the floor. Blood dripped from my fingers onto the shards. In each shard was a different piece of him; in one I saw his eyes blinking at me and crinkled with laughter, on another I saw half of his mouth; still crooked with insidious intent. I picked up a shard and squeezed it only to feel it soften beneath my fingers and once again form the shape of a soft and delicate petal; beautiful in its fleeting beauty and fragility. I screamed and the world collapsed around me like glass.

I sat up in my bed, woken by the sound of my own screams; whether they were of frustration, fear or loss, I didn’t know. My body was drenched in sweat and feeling smothered by the sheets wrapped around my form; I kicked them off, stumbled out of my bed and sat on the cushions placed on my window sill as I pushed open the window with acute force.

I felt a breeze brush through my short and messy hair, and I inhaled the smell of the wet grass two storeys below me. The sky was still black and the street lamp outside my apartment building glowed through the darkness. Red oak leaves drifted in the air and fell onto the ground with a quiet rustling, I smiled at the quiet and peaceful scene before a flashback of petals falling around me replaced my smile with an expression of discontent and confusion.

For three years I had dreamt of him. I had never met him, but he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen, and he belonged to me; he was mine and mine alone. I just didn’t know him, yet.

The only thing I hated about living by myself after I left home was either waking up alone or being scared and realising that no one was there to comfort me. I sighed and crept slowly to my bedroom door, when a hand didn’t instantly reach out to grab me I ran across the hallway into the bathroom and put my lights on ‘heat’.

I squinted in the light; waiting for my eyes to adjust. When I looked up in the mirror, I saw what I always had, a girl with short and curly brown hair with green eyes, and an average nose accompanied by slightly pink and (surprise), average lips. I wiped my eyes and everything in my bathroom returned to normal; (impeccably clean and white). I stripped off the huge ‘maroon 5’ concert shirt that I had substituted for pyjamas and hung it on the towel rack to dry while I showered and turned my hot water on. I cleaned myself off; using my passionfruit shampoo in abundance and attempting to scrub the remaining Goosebumps from my nightmare away. Sleep threatened to overtake me and I sat down with water still flowing down my back. I turned the tap for hot water further and a shudder of warmth radiated through my body.