a note to my first love

to my first love...

I am thankful that you were my first love.
My best friend.
We were so young and stupid, but it was beautiful.
You allowed me to learn,
what it's like to be loved and how to properly love someone.
You taught me how to love myself.
You taught me how to accept my mistakes,
and how to right my wrongs.
You taught me where the line is.
You taught me how to laugh.
How to smile.
How it feels to have butterflies in my stomach.
You taught me acceptance and happiness.
You taught me tolerance.

But you also taught me pain. Frustration.
Fear.
Sadness.
Unacceptance.
Blindness.
Heartbreak.
Ignorance.
After all you had done you made me suffer.
It was all part of your plan.
It was all intentional.
Some part of your sick plan.
You kicked me while I was down and you didn't care at all.

But it wasn't all your fault.
I should take some of the blame.
Our relationship wasn't perfect... but our friendship was beautiful.
Thank you.
But also,
Fuck you.