Chapter 1

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Ding! I hear the little notification on my phone saying I got a text from one of my closest old high school friends from back home. So, I am outside of your dorm building right now. Mind letting me in? It's freezing out here. What the heck? What is he doing here? I rush downstairs to see him waiting outside pacing back and forth and seemed to be deep in thought. I open the door, and before I get the chance to say anything, he says "Can we talk in your room?"

"Of course," I answer, "come on up."

We walk up the stairs in silence, and honestly, I am kind of worried. He has never done anything like this before, and I do not know what to think.

I unlock the door to my room, and let him in. As I am closing the door behind me, I am pulled into the arms of my best friend of over 12 years. And the next thing you know, we are kissing. This is the kind of forceful kiss that knocks the breath out of you. It's one where you get pushed into the wall with such force that you think the wall is going to crash and burn behind you.

And then, when we finally break apart and we can finally speak again, he starts to explain himself. "Izzy, I... "

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

I jolt out of bed. FUCK! It was all a dream! Again? Really? This was probably the third time this week a dream like this had taken over my night. I really, really need to move on. I say to myself. But it is so hard when you realize you have a major crush on your closest guy friend from high school, but only realize it after you move halfway across the country for college.

So, I should probably explain what all of that was about, and get you all up to speed. My name is Isabella, (but everyone calls me Izzy) , and currently, I am working on getting a Communications major at New York University. Originally, I am from a little town in Washington called Kent, where everyone knew everything about everyone. Moving across the country to New York was almost scandalous, but I knew I had to get out of that tiny little town and try and figure out who I really was by myself. That guy I had a dream about? His name is Jake. As I said, everyone knew everything about everyone in Kent, and it also meant that you went to school with the same people from kindergarten through twelfth grade. Jake and I became best friends in Kindergarten, and throughout the entirety of grade school and high school, we were inseparable. We helped each other through everything. Nothing was a secret between us, and we helped each other through every difficulty we came across.

Since I moved to NYU, I have tried to move on from my life back in Kent. I still talk to Jake, and of course to my family, but other than that, I try my best to not focus on that time in my life. But for some reason, Jake has started to really make a significant impact on my life in a romantic kind of way, and I honestly hate it. It makes me feel awkward and nervous around the one guy I trust sometimes more than my own family. My friends here convinced me to get an account on Tinder, but the only guys that seem to be active are ones only looking to fuck, and not have a real relationship.

I am trying to start over, but Jake keeps popping into my head whenever I feel like I am finally starting to move on. What do I do? 

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 20, 2019 ⏰

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