After Summer

"Do you remember when we first met?" I sigh, carefully dipping my toes into the warmth of the deep, turquoise water. My entire body exhales as I take in my surroundings. Clouds made of ivory float in a sky layered in shades of pink, blue, and yellow, illuminating the rising of the golden sun. Dark green trees stand tall, encompassing the vast space around us. Sitting on a hard, russet colored dock, I'm grateful for this quiet moment; complete silence, save for the occasional chirping of birds. I'm suddenly introduced to an unfamiliar feeling: euphoria.

That's something I haven't felt in an excruciatingly long time, despite the fact that this trip was supposed to relieve me of any stress I had about starting university. I had decided that it was time for my mom and I to take a little vacation, which I had thought would be especially good for her, considering the frequent panic attacks she tends to have. After doing some intense research, I had found us a small rental cottage by Coniston Water, a gorgeous lake in the small county of Cumbria, North West England. With such a calm, peaceful view, I had hoped that it would give my mom a sense of serenity; had desperately wished for some miracle that it would heal her pain. In truth, a tiny part of me had yearned to go somewhere... extraordinary. To do something a little out of my comfort zone. So I did, and here I am. My mother may not be the ideal travel companion, but at least I hadn't had to make the journey alone.

"It was the beginning of summer. I was sneaking around the village, trying to capture the laughs and smiles of the people, when I noticed a beautiful young woman sitting all by herself," his silky voice croons. Jesse Brenan, the boy sitting next to me on this sturdy dock; the boy hunched over his black digital camera, contemplating over which photos are worth keeping. The boy with a smooth, rich accent that gives me goosebumps every time he opens his mouth. With his pale pink lips, and tousled dark brown hair, it was nearly impossible not to be enamored by his English charm.

I glance over at him, relishing the compliments. "Then what?" I prompt. Tracing circles around the inside of his wrist, I observe every callous, every scar, embedded in his hands.

Jesse grins, shaking his head. "I walked over to her, my nerves completely shattered, and---"

"You were nervous?" I gape, then shove him playfully. "No way!"

He chuckles. "If you must know...I was." We're so close; I can see the flecks of gold in his juniper green eyes, and the scattering of freckles on his cheeks. Absentmindedly, my fingers trail over to his face, to his defined jawline, his high cheekbones. God, I think, how is this even real? Two months ago, I was just looking for adventure, for a chance to get away from all of the responsibilities that held me back. It had never occurred to me that instead, I'd find something I hadn't ever considered: love.

"Were you?" Jesse's words force me out of my daze.

"Was I what?" I frown. The cool breeze gives me a slight chill, and I rest my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around my waist. In response, Jesse pulls me closer. I close my eyes, feeling the heat emanate from his body.

"Anxious." He gives me a cocky smirk. "To see me."

I scoff. "No. Actually, I was pretty annoyed that you had interrupted my book."

"Ah, yes." He laughs. "You were reading one of those cheesy romance novels, weren't you?"

"For your information, it was a textbook..." My words peter out when I see Jesse's face fall, his eyebrows furrowed. "For university," I whisper, turning away.

I know how much he's hurting; I'm hurting too. There's only a couple weeks left of summer, before I'm studying psychology at NYU, and Jesse's traveling around Europe, pursuing his dream of becoming a professional photographer. We'll be continents apart, yet neither of us are willing to abandon our futures. That thought alone scares us both to death, because if we're not trying our hardest to stay together, then why are we even doing this? What's the point?