Come, Let's Talk

Block Out the Bullshit (2)

Alright so before I begin this entry, we ranked???? A lot????? Thank you guys so much for the overwhelming response, it makes me so happy to read all of your responses, and to talk to all of you who related to the last entry.

So today I wanted to talk about something a little more... general. Something you all can relate too... maybe not relate actually. I want to give you guys some advice infact, advice I wish someone gave me.

So I found out the boy who I liked, liked me back. We've been friends since last summer, and when I walked into that whole ordeal, I walked in considering it a friendship, but everyone around me was like, oh no sis, he likes you and you like him and you guys should date. Now I should reiterate the fact that my dumb ass has never been in a relationship before, nor have I seriously considered it.

Now with everyone on my back about this boy, I began to think, hmmm... I might just like him. Now we both don't study in co-education schools, my school only has girls and his school has only boys (coeducation: a concept, shall we discuss that too in a future chapter?), anyway our mutual friend, who's my best friend, told me that the boy I liked told him that he liked me.

And guys, I shit you not, I felt sick. Not the ew disgusting sick, I don't know why but my body began internally shutting down and I thought I was getting a fever. All of my friends were like oh damn, you received the confirmation you wanted, you have to date him now, or atleast tell him about your feelings.And I began thinking, oh I do like him and I should tell him, but I'm a chicken and I would never do that face to face. So I texted him this huge paragraph, where I asked him what we were and how I was confused, and I needed to know where we stood. My message was all over the place, just like my  mind was, and I think he realized what I was trying to do because he was like, I need you to tell me exactly what you're asking me.

I left him on read.

I called him today in the morning, and he kept saying the same thing, what do you want to tell me exactly, what are you trying to ask me? And I kept saying I don't know.

And that's when I realized, I really didn't know.

So on today's discussion, do not let people pressurize you into doing something you don't want to do. Remember it's your life, it will always be your life- and there will always be people giving you their unwanted opinions. I let people's opinions affect me and my train of thought, and this pushed me into doing something (confessing my feelings), which I wasn't ready to do. The boy I like realized that and he told me that there shouldn't be any rush to label what we are, because right now we're doing pretty good.

It wasn't that I was scared to tell him, I wasn't ready. I didn't want too. 

Sometimes you realize that quick enough, and sometimes you don't.

Do not let anyone pressurize you, think about you first. I think the whole concept of peer pressure ties into this, because sometimes that pressure can come from your friends, and neither you or they, realize what they're doing, but it's happening nonetheless. 

At the end of the day, it's your life, and whatever decision you make effects you, not them. That's why it's so easy to give your opinion on someone else's life, because it effects them not you. Stop listening to what other people have to say, work on your own pace, do something good with your life. This shit is pretty temporary, live it the way you want too, not the way other people want you too.

You're only as happy as you want to be, and I've noticed, the more you listen to other people, rather than listening to yourself, the more fucked up your life becomes for yourself, and being very blunt here, but it becomes your fault. I know it's hard not to listen to what people say, but it's a skill you acquire, not something you're born with. Learn to block out the bullshit. Don't do something that makes you unhappy. 

We're here on this Earth for a short time, don't waste it being unhappy.

This world has so much to offer, take advantage of it. You deserve to be happy.