Happy Birthday Maddy! It's your birthday and I stayed up till midnight to send you a "Happy Birthday" message right at midnight. I hope you like it. Oh you reacted with a heart. <3 I'm glad I was able to make you smile this morning. I know you've been going through a rough time but today is your day and it hopefully won't be with any negative vibes. I want you to be happy and that's all. A break from all the crap that's been happening. I wish I could spend the whole day with you like we planned but I understand that things change. I hate living four hours away from you. But I'll come down and visit soon and we'll celebrate your birthday the way we were suppose too.
*A Few Hours Later*
I opened my phone and received a message of thanks from you saying I'm the "best and the sweetest girlfriend ever". I just want you happy. That's all I want because you make me happy. But while I was checking my social media it showed you were there. That town. Lakeshore. I'm really starting to dislike Lakeshore because I know exactly what's there. Your ex and your dog. I bet you're going to spend all day with her. You know I don't like her. It should be me that you spend this special day with. It should be my shoulder you cry on. I should of stayed that day and met your parents. I...I just really want to be with you especially because I was suppose to be anyway. Our plan was for me to be there during your birthday, the rest of the week and the week after. It was going to be the best two weeks ever.
I wish you only lived an hour away from me instead of four. Then I would drive up to you every day. I would be able to be the shoulder you lean on when you need support. I would be the person you drive to when you don't want to be alone. We could spend nights together watching movies and just cuddling like we did on the 6th. I remember it like it was yesterday.
You had gotten fired from your job and was in a really bad mood. I texted asking if you wanted to take a walk, go for a drive and that I would be there in four hours. You said "yeah that would be amazing ". I didn't need anymore convincing. You needed someone and I was going to show you that you mean a lot to me, so I grabbed my wallet and filled up with gas and drove down that night. We spent the night cuddling, talking, watching movies that we didn't give two craps about but because we were together it made all the difference. And yes we did a little kissing but I was mainly there to just be there. So you wouldn't be alone and because we haven't seen each other since December. It was also the day you called me your girlfriend to your other friend when they asked if they needed to come over. You were so shocked when I pulled into your apartment complex and asked to share my location with you because you still couldn't believe that I would get up and drive down in the middle of the night for you. You even said that no one has ever done that for you before. Ha it's even funny thinking back you tried to discourage me from going, saying "it's not that big of a deal " but I was all like "you can't change my mind". And you didn't because I got to spend an amazing night with you and part of a morning. Our first as an official couple. That was the best 14 hours ever. The drive, being with you, sleeping in the same bed with you, waking up and seeing your beautiful face and getting a real good morning kiss. I wouldn't trade that morning for anything in the world. I'm glad I decided to go and I don't regret it at all.
But when I left, you became sad again. You needed me to stay but I had to leave. I didn't have to leave, I could of gotten a hotel room and stayed a few extra days. But I did. And I regret leaving.
Let's get back to today though. I can't change the fact that I left.
*A Few Hours Later*
I texted you a "good morning" later on because we do that. Instead of a good morning back you texted "Rylee I'm sorry." What just happened? Last time you did that you slept with your ex. We weren't a couple so it wasn't technically cheating but there was some loyalty due to being in the talking phase. And you were upfront about it and felt guilty. Yes we talked about it but that's EXACTLY how you started that conversation. I can't have that a few days after we made it official we were girlfriends. And with you still in Lakeshore with X...yes you asked for some patience but my mind is going a thousand miles a minute with that kind of response. I tend to overthink and when you send me that with also another "I'm sorry" message and that's it. No explanation. What can my brain do but think the worse? Agh! I'm going crazy. I'm mainly just scared about what X might do because she's with you, Maddy, and right now you're in a very depressed and vulnerable state. I read something online that says "If it happens twice it's not a mistake"...I'm just really nervous and paranoid. That's all. Especially because X called me a "REBOUND" Like hell no am I not a rebound. At least I hope not. I never really thought about that until you told me that's what she thinks I am.
Ugh. Just forget about that Rylee. Just don't think about that. Maddy likes-likes you and you are not a rebound. If anything X's face will just rebound with my fist as I prove I'm not a rebound. I can't believe we go from texting everyday to just a few pleasantries once or twice a day now. :/
*A Few Hours Later*
Nothing. I know I have reception and you do too. I just hope you text me back before the end of the night. My brain is going into overdrive and sinking like the Titanic. The only thing that can save it is some sort of explanation. Please Maddy. Give me something to calm my mind. I know you're probably not feeling the best but I'm not either.
- Rylee June
YOU ARE READING
Rylee June's Heartbreak Letters
RomanceThe first breakup is always the worst. You feel like life is not worth living without that person. That no one will ever love you again. You read the motivational quotes online about how life keeps going and to not be so hung up on this first love...