Aura - Yunchan

five

"So."

"So..." 

"Uh..."

"Um."

"Hi."

"Hey, Dad."

Chanwoo still hadn't gone home yet. He was still in his aunt's apartment, sitting cross-legged on the floor with his back against the bed, and he had to sadly let Yunhyeong go a few hours ago. 

"Talk to your father as soon as you can, okay?" Yunhyeong said once they were both outside the door, with Chanwoo doing up Yunhyeong's scarf for him. Chanwoo raised an eyebrow, about to question it before Yunhyeong took hold of his wrist and stared him straight in the eye. "Please. Try."

"Why?"

"Hopefully you'll both figure out why."

"I hate it when you're cryptic, stop it," Chanwoo grumbled, frowning and Yunhyeong only smiled, kissing his cheek before stepping away and Chanwoo was pretty sure his face would stay red for the rest of the day. Or a week, that seemed more likely.

"See you when the winds travel along our red lines of fate to meet in a shining shimmering splendid-"

"Shut up, you're just quoting Aladdin!"

Chanwoo had stared at his phone a lot before actually pressing his father's number. He would hover his finger over it before taking it back, thinking that he wasn't ready, there was no point, what if he'd just turn into a blubbering mess, what if the world exploded?

"Dad, I love you," Junhoe cried, wrapping an arm around his knees as he leant his head against the wall, trying to blink back his torrents of tears even though that was the most useless thing he could do. "I want to know what it feels like to ha-have you feel proud of me, I want to yell at a football game with you, I w-want to know what I've done so wrong, I want your approval, I want to just hug you even though neither of us are huggers but I miss you, I miss you...p-please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm like this. Why do you think I'm wrong? Please, please, Dad...love me again..."

His mind had gone back on itself so much at this point that all his excuses to not call were such a mess that in the end, it was like his common sense itself had got sick of it and flew through his finger to make him press the number. And for the three rings it took, his mind went into full on blank-panic mode (that was when Chanwoo's mind went so utterly blank that he wouldn't be able to speak, or move, or anything) - but then his father's voice, that familiar, deep voice, had filtered through and suddenly Chanwoo could do one thing. He could cry.

But he decided to keep that for later.

"How are you?"

"I'm great, just relaxing. I'll go to school tomorrow. Promise."

"Good, good...um, is Aunt Mai-"

"Yeah, she's great."

"Great."

The beat of silence that followed made Chanwoo want to curl up into a ball and roll all the way to Alaska.

"I'm sorry about the book."

"No, Dad, it's fi-"