You Feel Like a Dream (18+)

Convoluted

  Exhaling deeply, he stops everything! Letting go of any part of me, I felt a raging coolness come between us. He came to a sudden halt before we end up in any sort of blissful, pleasured entanglement or insane passion. Leans back in the bathtub causes ripples of waves that float up and around us. I turn my head to see him; he's sitting down with his back against the end of and beginning of the copper frame. His head is facing up towards the skylight. He is deliberately avoiding any eye contact with me.

    Slightly moving his head upwards." I said I didn't want to know anything, but I do!  It's bloody fuckin eating me alive inside. I have had this fuckin hole in my stomach since I heard you on the phone. Again, I may play shitey arsehole characters, but in fucking seriousness, I am the complete opposite in my real life; I am here with you. I'm at the point aye that I could and am starting to get choked up from this empty feeling. So bloody ehell I need to know. Are you married? Do you have children? Of course, you must have a broad; you have hips of a goddess, one who could carry life inside her many times. How do I fit into your life? Can I? I have so many...." I cut him off. Ask me what you want to know, I won't lie to you, Tom, I have not lied; I just choose not to tell you. I'm sure there are things you haven't mentioned to me." " Harlow, this.... is so bloody fuckin different. I don't know if I would have done all that we have if I was in a serious relationship." He barks at me. "I never thought this, us, in an infinity of time would happen. But here we are sitting in a bathtub together stuck in a blizzard." I laugh nervously. He still won't pick his head up to look at me; it's as if he's a child who's been scolded, covering his face with his hands, allowing them to slide down to the outer tub Gesturing his stoic hands in the air in front of him like a conductor of an orchestra. " So, are you married?" He quips! "No," I replied, bringing my knees up to my chest, leaning my chin on them, also like an adolescent. Warm water floats around my body in small waves as the ones in my stomach are happening at the same time.

   " Ahhh ...hhh... do I want to know this answer? FUCK... " he says softly to himself. " boyfriend/girlfriend?" "Lovers," I reply. "Lover? Or....Lovers?" He clamors gruffly at me. " Lovers," I repeat dramatically." Bloody fuckin ehell what?" He growls. Not in a tone I have heard since the other night with Rafael. "How many? How does.... This is all very confusing; I'm fucking sorry I asked." Slapping his hands into the water, getting out of the tub, heading over to the vanity for a cigarette. He lights it, and the flash from the lighter shadows around him in the mirror. It was if I took a photograph of him. I love seeing him naked; I am so attracted to him bare—just himself. I find him so sensual. For some reason, I feel as if he doesn't think I am as fond of him as he is imagining. As if I didn't take part in these past few days. I knew what I was doing. I just didn't plan either of us having the before and after moments.

   " Tom," I call for his attention. He stands in the shadows of the dimly lit bathroom, grazing the cigarette between his lips somewhat feverishly. " FUCK..... you drive me crazy when you say my name." He stammers." My darling, please come back?" I say, tapping my fingernails on the tub. " I want to explain; I need you to understand to comprehend this isn't what I intended to happen. " What fucking ripping my bloody heart out of my chest? Hmm? is that what you didn't intend, did you also not intend for me to fall so fucking madly in love with you, that I THINK THIS WAS SO FUCKING SELFISH." He yells at me. " TOM! STOP RANTING. Listen to me; I am so fucking beyond ecstatic that it did. Do you not understand I feel the very same" Not wanting even to listen or comprehend what I am trying to articulate to him
" FUCKIN Lovers? As in more than one? He shots off fiery." I have two male lovers. They are straight men, but they are my exclusive lovers." " Well, exclusive, you are not!" He's feisty in his reaction. " Yes, Yes, I realize this, but they were both there the night we met. They were aware of what I was thinking and perhaps what I was going to do if given a chance. They did not foresee this."  "So what happens now, Harlow? You go back to being greedy? And you have the nerve to tell me I sold my soul."  " I think greedy isn't the right word more like being worshipped. That was the place I was in before you came strolling into my life." I said, trying to explain further, but he wasn't interested in hearing anymore. He's heading towards the tub with a towel for me. " I FUCKING WORSHIP YOU!..... Is that not bloody clear enough? .... to you....? At this point, I NEED to stop feeling this rip my heart out of my chest halfway, but still holding on to part of it.  I would do anything." He replies with a crack in his voice, grabbing at his chest with such rage and angst. He sounds like a wounded animal, who's got a way out and isn't just yet ready to give up. " No matter what, I must return home, it doesn't mean we can't have something," I say with concern. " Don't fucking patronize me, Harlow. I'm not just some bloody fucking guy, and I'm not going to share you with anyone period end of it."  Angrily he stammers, swallowing heavy.

"  I want to give you a definitive answer, Tom, I do, but there is more involved than that. Can't you give me some time?" ''Time? Are you bloody fucking serious? It's the holidays; my family is coming over; I was expecting you to be apart. I wanted you with us; they were all looking so forward to meeting the woman I've become so fond of so quickly. I cannot even believe this is happening." He keeps mumbling words as he leaves the bathroom with his hands waving in the air over his head. As he enters the bedroom, bare-skinned. I follow him, also wearing nothing. He leans against the bed as he watches me slide feathered white thigh high socks onto each leg. I walk over to him, intensely he stares into my eyes and says not a word. I drop to my knees, and I take his flaccid girth into my hand.  He is angry with me, but he doesn't seem too eager to stop me. Grazing my empty hand up and down his right leg. Then up to his pelvic bone where my fingernails slowly tickling his skin that is now covering in goose pimples.  I stare up at him, taking the tip of his cock and encircling it over my lips, from left to right, upward and around. Sliding his folds into my mouth, I can feel him swelling. He lets out a sigh and then a moan. " Let me worship you, my love," I say with his cock engorging into my lips. The smell of him is intoxicating; he says nothing but a few grunts here and there. Looking down at me, he arches his back just so. I allow him to pulsate into and out of my mouth, sliding his cock in on his own, while my mouth cups him with precise suction. He growls softly as he penetrates my mouth.

  Further, he hasn't moved his eyes from his shaft, grazing my lips sliding faster. I follow his rhythm as if he were a swaying tree. He's fully erect, pulling his cock out with my hand. Staring at it, while holding his manhood, I lean in and playfully suck his perfect hairy sac. He moans with such pleasure while I proceed to drop his balls into my mouth while slowly gliding my hand up and down the folds of his beautiful cock. Licking, sucking, suckling his sac getting them moist. " Fuck, you feel so good. Get up, HARLOW!!" Gripping his hand down to my neck, he grabs a section of my hair and pulls me upward. Forcefully and angrily, but not in a way, I feel frightened or that he is mishandling me. He lifts me onto the bed, almost throwing me like his rag doll.

He's insanely intense; I want to lighten the mood, so I nervously asked if he was playing some character, and is this what it's like to fuck an actor. He shook his head back and forth, still never for one second removing his eyes from mine. I have to admit; I was getting a little scared. " No....No... my darling, this is what it is like for me to fuck you. Just you and only you. No one will fuck you the way I do, or fuck you ever the way I will right now." He's fierce; he's fiery, he's a loaded weapon ready to explode. With his piercing green eyes, he, with fever, pulls my legs apart. He can see the dampness I am experiencing from this very different side of Tom, that quite certainly I had only seen him do in his movies. I was slick. I was glistening; I was ready....But he wasn't until I was aching for him to be inside me; he was going to make me beg. Beg to fuck me like he hasn't done before.