She makes me weak - Matty Healy/ The 1975 imagine

She makes me weak - Matty Healy

You got off the train at Manchester station and got into a taxi.

"Where to, ma'am?" The driver asked.

You felt strange reciting Matty's mum's address after not visiting for so many years.

You felt sick with nerves the entire journey. It was going to be very strange seeing him. And in what state? He'd just got back from rehab, god knows what he was going to be like.

All too soon, the taxi driver pulled up outside Matty's mum's large house and you felt your stomach drop. You paid the driver and grabbed your suitcase and made your way to the front door.

Denise (Matty's Mum) opened it before you'd even rang the bell. She'd obviously been waiting.

"Hiya sweetheart," she smiled weakly, pulling you in for a long, meaningful hug. "Thanks for coming,"

"Thanks for having me,". You replied and then slightly quieter, "You're sure this is a good idea?"

"100%" she nodded vigorously, "I don't know what he needs to get better but I do know that seeing you will help,"

She lead you through the hallway and towards the kitchen. You were physically shaking at this point.

Suddenly, Denise stopped walking and ushered you into the kitchen and without really thinking, you walked straight in.

And there he was.

Sat alone at the large kitchen table was Matty. He was wearing black trackies and a black jumper and his skin was the palest you'd ever seen it. His face was skinny and his hair was messy. But he was still SO beautiful.

He stood up as soon as he saw you and his mouth dropped open.

"Matty," you said softly.

His face crumpled and tears began to form in both your eyes. You both rushed towards eachother and held on to eachother for a good few minutes, both crying into eachother.

*

A few hours later, you were sat opposite each-other at dinner. You watched as he barely touched his mac and cheese, just flicking the food around his plate with his fork pointlessly.

Denise and Matty's step dad were sat with you too. You hadn't been alone with Matty all day and you were slightly relieved about it. You had no idea what you'd say to him if you were left by yourselves. "Hi, I know we broke up 5 years ago but your mum called and told me you'd overdosed on heroine and been in rehab for 7 weeks so here I am!"

"Matty," Denise said quietly but firmly, "Please eat,"

Matty stared at the plate of food in front of him and his face scrunched up as if he were going to cry again.

"Would you like me to get you some bread and butter?" You said softly.

Matty looked up at you.

"Yes please," he said quietly with a warm look in his eyes. You knew why. Way back when you'd first broken up and he'd started using, he'd always come over and not be able to eat anything because the drugs had made him sick of anything that wasn't them. Most mornings you'd wake up to find him on your sofa and you'd make him bread and butter and watch to make sure he ate it and kept it down. It was a horribly sad memory but also sweetly nostalgic.

After dinner was over, you decided to unpack your things in the spare room. There hadn't really been time to do this earlier as the whole day had pretty much been about distracting Matty and making sure he was ok. You began placing your few days worth of clothes in one of the drawers when you suddenly noticed how tiny the single bed looked. You'd never even been in the spare bedroom before, every time you'd come to stay with matty's mum, you'd slept curled up in his arms in the double bed in his old teenage bedroom that had always smelt like cheap aftershave and even cheaper cigarettes.