the alarm clock buzzed as i wiped the sleep out of my eyes, i eventually stopped the irritating noise making my ears ring and slummed back down into bed tucking myself in the covers determined not to get out of bed. so i laid there staring at the ceiling for a while just thinking the hell might happen today, first day of college which is scary to think it has actually arrived. i tore the covers away from my body leaving myself exposed to the coldness. i sat up slowly, drained of all energy, but manage to haul myself out of bed.
'morning' my mum called as i sluggishly walk to the bathroom.
i didnt answer. i stood in the bathroom listening to the cold tap run as i stared at my reflection, what even is a reflection? do mirrors actually show us what we look like, or are they just blank and we fill it with an image of what we think we look like, because right now im staring at a 16 year old virgin with 5 friends and the social life of a 3 year old, no wait a 3 year old would have a better social life then me. is this really what i look to other people? or do our eyes lie to us? we can never really see our true relfection we can only question of excistence in this world. i look down and notice the sink is over flowing, rushing to turn of the tap. i plunge my hands into the icey water scooping as much into my palms as humanly possible and spray it all over my face giving me a refreshing icey shock. i dry with my face with the towel and look in the mirror once more as if my eyes would re adjust and see a different me. i pull the plug from the sink and listen to the water gurgle as i walk back towards my room to pick my outfit for the day which determines how im labelled at school, i can either be hated to trying to fit in or be hated for being myself and quite frankly i hate both of them. this just proves how appearance is more important then what the real person is like, their personality gets hiding by society and this is why i hate the god damn world we live in.
i sit in the car staring out the window trying to make shapes with the clouds, the radio and the car engine are in the background but im in my own little world so i dont pay much attention. my mum glances over at me.
'you excited about your first day?' she asks me quietly.
'you mean the first day which determines if im going to survive minimum bullying incidents this year, oh its gonna be great' i hissed.
my mum didnt seem too pleased with my response but it was the truth, as soon as i set both feet into the the college grounds im going to be judged by my appearance, by the clothes i wear and by the way my face looks, no one will talk to me to me before the judge me, no, they make that opinion by judging a book by its cover something we was taught never to do but as we know society now a days there is fuck all we can do about it.
i had my timetable which didnt look to bad to be fair i had some free periods here and there which was good. finding my first lesson wasnt to hard either, it was sport, my favourite subject, atleast it was at high school. i looked down at the piece of paper i grasped in my hand to check the room number again to make sure i was defiantly at the right place, as i walked forward and began to raise my head thats when i had my first encounter with him.
'oh, er im sorry, hi um' i struggled to even string a sentence together.
'hi dont worry about it, accidents happen' he smiled at me causing me to smile back.
'er are you in er sport now?' i felt my cheeks burn as i tried to make the words flow out of my mouth instead of forgetting basic english.
'as a matter of fact i am' he smiled and me and reached out to shake my hand 'im Daniel by the way but everyone just calls me Dan'
i shook his hand quite shakily 'me too, i mean i have sport now not that im called daniel' i began to feel my cheeks burn so i looked to the floor'
'what is your name then?' he asked whilst laughing.
i let out a slight chuckle 'its shannnon, but most people call me shann'
'she will we go then?' Dan asked as he pointed towards RM06
'we shall' i giggled.
'oh and by the way you are sitting next to me'
'oh ok'
Dan seemed like such a nice guy and he didnt judge me by my appearance i dont think, and he was talking to me and he laughed, hopefully with me not at me. Maybe college wont be so bad after all i thought to myself. as we sat down in sport together i felt this warm feeling that id never felt before, and as i turned to look at Dan he was already looking at me and smiling.
Id known this boy for no more then 5 minutes and already i seemed to like him, and i didnt know what to do about it.
This is where it all began.
