I Need You

Ana was trapped and she knew it. She was trapped in an abusive relationship and she couldn't get out. She had never attempted to get out because attempt at escape would be futile. She had never told anyone about the nature of this relationship, because she thought she would be judged.

Ana's mother was the only one who knew about her abusive relationship because Ana's mother was the abusive partner.  Ana's mother was only physically abusive at times; her mother was mentally abusive, which Ana viewed as much worse.

Mothers are meant to nurturers, they are meant to shield you from the cold and keep you safe. It is uncommonly known that mothers happen to be the number one mental abusers. Ana had done a lot of digging concerning mental abuse, because she didn't know what mental abuse was when she was younger.

Ana's mother had been mentally and physically abusing her since she was five years old; when her younger brother was born. Her brother, Jonathan, was an accident but her mother loved him more than she loved Ana. Especially since Ana's father had left when he had found out that Jonathon was on the way. Her mother had begun to associate Jonathon with Ana's father.

Ana's mother had never gotten over her father. She believed their love was stronger than anything in the world. She believed it could cut through diamonds and conquer the world. But in reality, it couldn't. It was a weak and feeble love. It only just scraped by most nights. Ana's father didn't love Ana's mother, the only love was the love created by her mother. The love she created was just big enough to squeeze the two of them in, it was just enough to make her believe that he loved her too.

Ana had watched the countless fights and had felt her father toss and turn on the sofa for nights on end some times. Ana had watched her father reduce to nothing. He was wasting away before her very eyes and she was too young to understand. The bags under his eyes turned purple, and his cheeks began to sag. He wasn't able to move his muscles to make a smile and he was always too tired to move very far.

Ana's father worked every day, as a miner. It was the only job he could get with the amount of experience and qualifications he had. He left before Ana got up and usually didn't get back home until after she went to bed. On weekends he came home for dinner, but that's usually the only time she saw him, and every time he looked worse and worse.

Ana's mother was always displaying her love for Ana's father. She was always rubbing his shoulders and feeding him his food. Ana had always thought it weird that her mother could love her father so much, but he didn't love her back. She remember watching them at the dinner table, her mother paid her no attention but given her father all the attention in the world.  As if her mother had a certain amount of love and attention, and Ana was never allowed any because it always souley focused on her father. Ana had always loved her father, it was obvious that he loved her back  but when Ana's mother saw that her father always gave Ana his love and attention it made her jealous. So Ana's mother would increase her amount of love and give more of it to Ana's father.

Ana remembered when she was five and her father had a day off work. It was early morning and Ana was getting herself ready for school. Her father barely ever got days off work and she was excited to go downstairs and find him sitting at the table, waiting for her to say goodbye.

Ana sat on the ground with her legs crossed, she brushed her shoulder length blonde hair with her tiny pink hairbrush. Ana had big blue eyes; she liked to watch her eyes move in the mirror. She had noticed that neither her mother nor her father had big eyes, only she had big eyes. She watched herself and her eyes in the mirror that was propped against the wall. Then she started to watch her father who had appeared in the mirror. She turned around and smiled at him; a big, toothy smile. Her father smiled back at her.