Chapter one...

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It's been two years six months and fifteen days since i held this blade in my hand. Since I've given in. since I've seen the bright red blood run out from my left arm. I had promised her "never again". But she's gone now. She cant stop me. No one can.

One. two. Three. The bloods coming out faster than i remember. Four. five. Six. there's still no pain. I want the pain. seven . eight. Nine. ten. I'll cut deeper. Eleven. Twelve. There we go. A tear runs down my cheek. thirteen . fourteen. Fifteen. I'll stop now. I sit there, i let the blood flow, staining my carpet. But at this point i don't really care. because i've already lost my entire world.

ONE MONTH LATER

It's been one month since my sister died. They've had over one hundred events in her honor i've gone to none. I've packed away every possible reminder of her, it lays in her locked up room. That i forbid ANYONE from going into. EVER. she never liked people in her room without her permission. Or touching her stuff. None of my friends talk about it, or even say her name. I don't think about it. Til, im alone. Til, the only thing i have to think about is her. Til, it's just me and blaze. Blaze is my best friend. Hes silver, small, sharp, and he lays in box of matches, hidden from the world. He makes me feel better. No matter what, when no one else in this world can. He also helps me with my style. Long sleeves, long pants.everything black. and makeup, for my neck. He's very stylish, don't you think?

I've begged my father to let me move from Marion High. too many memories. I want to go to a school in the next town over. It would be longer drive, but way worth it, but my father doesn't think so. No more... Sof- i can't even think her name. No memories of her, anyway. But he says i need to cope with it sooner or later, but that's pretty hard. She was my best friend, my sister, my world. I get out of my car and walk toward "the spot" it's where me and my friends sit everyday. Before school, during lunch, and after school.

 "Hey Elijah" i hear Daniel call as i approach the table where they all sit.

Madeline- Short,has Brown hair with highlights,Blue eyes, shes very stylish, amazing singer/songwriter, very cute. and I've kinda liked her since 4th grade. I'm in 10th now.

Veronica- Blue and purple hair, fairly tall, wears a lot of makeup (but makes it look good),made up her own style of fashion. has a very sexual sense of humor, and Is great at painting

Derik & Daniel- Identical twin brothers. Blonde hair, 6'2. Difference? Derik is gay, and always has his nails painted. Yet, Daniel is the straightest person I've ever met. Pretty weird huh?

Benjamin- 6 ft, short brown hair. Looks half asian, half indian. Wears glasses, and is never not wearing a hat. skates , a lot.

"Hey dude" i say to daniel, as i sit beside Maddy i look at what she's writing.

The way your eyes shine

Its like stars in the night sky

I'll make a wish..

Wish that your mine

"Do you like it? Im deciding on whether or not to add on. Do you think it's worth the time?" she looks up at me. And i see her beautiful dark green eyes. They tell a story. It's not tragic, or sad. But mysterious, and joyful. But it makes me wonder, could it all just be covered up? All the chaos.

"Yeah i love it, maybe come over later, and we can figure out a rhythm, and get some music with whatever you come up with." i say, hoping she agrees. It's not irregular for us to do stuff like this.

"That would actually be great, thanks Eli" she says with the cutest smile i've ever seen.

"C,mon you love birds,we need to get to class" Ben interrupts with his arm around his girlfriend, Mykinzi. She has Short wavy blonde hair, is super short, wears basic glasses, and is always wearing adidas. I think that all she owns.

We all walk to class with Madeline's friends, i guess you could call them acquaintances of mine, not close enough to call them friends, Mykinzi, Madeline, and Veronica are the only girls i really talk to. Mykinzi was really close to my sister as well, so we kinda bonded after...that happened. She's like my 2nd sister....Speaking ff Mykinzi.

"Hey El, how are you? We didn't talk all weekend, you okay?" She says grabbing my arm, as if we were dating. Everyone knows we aren't, and ben knows how close we are so he don't even care anymore. He used to be protective and get jealous, even before they dated.

"Yeah kinz, I'm good. Are you?" i say, she is usually the first to text, because I'm usually busy writing stories, or studying stars. And i don't look away, once i get started, i get lost in the sky, and my imaginations all the possibilities. Tonight is a lunar eclipse, and hopefully Madeline can come over and watch it with me.

"Im fine, had a super busy weekend. Mom was drunk again.. Dad was at work, so i had to take care of my grandmother." she said continuing to rub my arm.

"Im sorry, kinz. You know you can come stay at my house if it ever becomes too much" i sayed "this is my class, bye"

"Bye eli" she said letting go of my arm. I walked into class, and sat next to Maddy.

"I texted my mom, she said i can come over after school. I have to be home before midnight tho." that's great. The eclipse is supposed to be over by 11:30. Gives me enough time.

"Perfect." i say, then the teacher begins talking, and i stare at her pretending i'm listening but im just thinking of story ideas. Its funny how I can make up a million stories, but cant even predict my own sometimes...


***AUTHORS NOTE*** hiii, i really hope you enjoy this story, i have some stuff up my sleeve. plz vote, and leave comments. tell me your opinion. ok, thats all. have fun reading bbs :)

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 25, 2019 ⏰

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