the first time | jimercury

the first time.

A/N: Hello lovies! This is my first jimercury oneshot and I'm really excited about it. It's nothing special but I really tried to do something fluffy. This was inspired by a part of the book "Mercury and Me" but the timeline is very different and many of the facts too. This is about the first time that Freddie says the magic words. I hope you enjoy it! x 

the first time 

Jim was done. He couldn't take it anymore. Believe me, he really tried. Freddie was too much to handle and his heart was always being shattered by his abruptly decisions. This time he was going to leave him. He was going to leave Freddie for good.

After all, it was Freddie's choice. The week before, Mary appeared saying that he needed to move out. Jim didn't understand what was happening but she didn't explain either, she just said that Freddie wanted him gone. He tried to reach his boyfriend but he was avoiding him. Jim couldn't understand why was he mad at him. Being honest, he never understood almost any of the times that Freddie fought him.

This wasn't the first time that he was trying to kick him out. They had been living together for a year now and Freddie had already told him to leave like four or five times. However, after a few hours, he would always regret it. Now it was different and Jim's heart was broken into tiny pieces.

That morning Jim got the approval from a landlord downtown. He had an apartment and he could move out anytime, so Jim decided to go immediately because he couldn't stay there any more. The place was full with angst and he was disappointed with everyone in the house. No one cared about him. Not even Freddie.

Jim was finishing packing his stuff when he heard footsteps. It was probably Mary trying to kick him out quickly. He had told her that he was going today and he could swear that she was happy about it. He appreciated her very much but now was seeing that some of her colors were kind of dark. He continued to pack his things, ignoring the noise outside. Until he heard his voice.

"What are you doing?"

Freddie was standing against the door with his arms crossed. He was looking at Jim with his soft eyes and he seemed to have some tears on them. Jim used to joke and say that, when Freddie was with his eyes that way, he was soft as a kitten. And there he was. His Freddie. Jim could see his Freddie now and not the Freddie that had been running of him all week and treated him like he was nothing. But Jim tried not to care about it.

"Packing my stuff.", he said, zipping the bag. It was already done. "I'm moving out today. I found a nice apartment downtown."

"Please.", Jim could swear that Freddie's eyes were begging him something. "Please don't leave me."

"Freddie, you were the one that asked me to go.", Jim rolled his eyes up. Sometimes he couldn't understand his boyfriend, he really wasn't able to do that. And he was not staying, not after that damn week. His heart was broken. "I'm going now."

"I don't want you gone!", Freddie stood by the door, covering the exit. "You need to stay, I want you to stay!"

"Freddie...", Jim began to pick up his luggage. "I can't do this anymore. You can ask Mary to tell me to move, not talking with me for a week and then appear when I'm about to leave. You've hurt me. Who do you think you are?"

"I'm Freddie Mercury!", Freddie brushed his hand down his face. He looked desperate and Jim was starting to feel his pain. Freddie was pretty much everything to him.

"I never cared about it!"

"I know, you told me to fuck off! That's exactly what I'm trying to say!", Freddie almost yelled. He closed his eyes for a second and then he faced Jim. He was dead serious and looking him in the eyes. "You don't care about my name or what I own. You care about me. You care about me and I'm pretty sure that you would also care if I didn't have where to drop dead. You are the first person that made me feel the whole entire zoo in my stomach. You make me so happy because you see me, Jim. You really see me. Since day one that you see me and that was always what I was craving for."

"Beautiful words but what's your point Freddie? Because you still asked me to leave after all that!"

"I don't think I'm worthy of your affection.", Freddie faced the grown and now Jim was certain that he was about to shade a tear. "I never did. I don't want you gone but I tell you to go because... I believe... I believe that one day you are going to get tired of me. I couldn't bare that. I couldn't bare you leaving me."

"Freddie..."

Jim was about to start talking but Freddie was quicker. He lifted his head, walked closer to Jim and looked him in the eye again.

"I love you."

Jim was shock. He said it. He finally said it. After a year of being together, Freddie told him that he loved him. Jim was suddenly breathless. He had already gave up on the dream of hearing that three words coming out of Freddie's lips and now he was feeling the happiest man in the world. His baby loved him.

"I love you, Jim Hutton.", Freddie said it again, looking at Jim with all the hope in the world. "And I'm pretty sure that I will never love other person after you. Damn it, I never loved anyone in this way, darling. Can you please give me another chance? Give us another chance?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course!"

Jim approached Freddie. In a delicate way, the barber put a hand on his waist and another in his cheek. Freddie smiled when he felt their bodies touching. Then it was Jim's turn to face him with a serious look.

"Talk to me, Freddie. Don't send Mary or anyone else. Just share with me. I'm your partner, I'm here for you no matter what. You are my man."

"Indeed I am!", Freddie smiled even bigger and put his hands on Jim's waist. "I will do that! At least, I promise you that I will try."

Jim nodded and it was time to do it. It was time to kiss Freddie after a week apart. He leaned closer and his boyfriend did the same. Then he pressed his lips against him and they kissed gently. One of the best kisses they've ever shared. Freddie broke the kiss and rested his head on Jim's should while smiling. Jim placed his arms around Freddie and hugged him tight. They stayed like that for a few minutes and then Freddie broke the hug.

"I wrote a new song, you have to hear this one!"

Freddie started to leave the room and Jim followed him. They ended up in the living room. Freddie was playing piano and Jim was sitting next to him on the piano's chair. And then Freddie started.

"You and me
We are destined, you'll agree.
To spend the rest of our lives with each other,
The rest of our days like two lovers.
Forever, yeah

Forever,
My bijou."

Jim had a smile from cheek to cheek. When the Freddie was finished, he turned his gaze at him and waited for his approval.

"I love you too, Freddie."

"Bastard, I was beginning to believe that you were not going to say it back!"

Both of them smiled and Freddie began showing Jim another song. While he was talking, Jim was just appreciating his beauty.

Freddie would always be his man. And Jim would always be his.