Aries: you
Taurus: their alarm clock
Gemini: the entire human population
Cancer: Anyone who makes them cry
Leo: Condoms
Virgo: the patriarchy
Libra: everyone but only using their lips
Scorpio: God
Sagittarius: Iggy Azalea
Capricorn: Their parents
Aquarius: Bras
Pisces: themselves
"Beau jeune"
