*** COMPLETED *** Think About You [A G-Eazy Story, Sequel to If I'm Lucky]

Chapter 21, Part 3: "I'll always wait for you."

August 10, 2018
A hospital in Austin, Texas
The Endless Summer Tour

My head was pounding. My hair felt gross like it hadn't been washed in a few days. My nose was dry and almost bleeding. The last thing I truly remember was walking in on Gerald, P-Lo and Grady doing cocaine and drinking, so I wasn't sure how I ended up in the hospital with bandages on my arms and a cannula in my nose. I wasn't even sure where I was.

The nurse who had woken me up explained where I was at and that I had drugs in my system. I vaguely remembered Gerald rubbing some kind of substance on my gums last night, but I didn't want to tell her that. She changed my bandages and hooked up another bag of fluids to the IV pole, and a little while after that, Gerald came into my room.

"Rachel," he said softly as he came over to the stool by the bed, sitting down on it. He was holding a white teddy bear with a rose. "How are you feeling?"

"I-I don't know," I said, wincing at the sound of my own voice. It cracked, and my throat felt like it was on fire because the last thing I probably had to drink was whiskey. "I'm confused, and I'm going to need you to tell me what happened last night. And don't lie to me either. I can get Kaitlyn to tell me."

He took a deep breath and held my cold, pale hand in his and squeezed it gently before opening his mouth to speak, looking me in the eyes and then looking away every so often.

"You came into my dressing room," he began. "You saw me, Grady and P-Lo doing cocaine and drinking, and got hella pissed at me for doing them, which I understand now..." he trailed off. "But you threatened to go get Kaitlyn, and I knew she'd kill us all if she knew what we were doing, so I convinced you to stay. I talked you into letting me put cocaine on your gums because I said it'd destress you," he sighed, squeezing my hand again. "Then you freaked out and hallucinated that bugs were crawling on you, so I gave you some whiskey ... then you got up and started pacing, and next thing I knew, you were on the floor."

I looked down at the bandages on my wrists and took a peek underneath them. There were dark, red scratch marks with a bit of dried blood, which I now knew was from me hallucinating.

It took me a second to gather my thoughts and formulate a response because, honestly, I'm a little disappointed, hurt, mad and annoyed all wrapped into one.

"You told me several times over the last year that you'd never let anything happen to me, and that you'd never hurt me," I began, biting down on my lip as I felt my cheeks get hot. My eyes started to sting. "You said you'd do whatever it took to protect me, and now look at me, I'm in the hospital getting IV fluids with bandages on my wrists because you wanted me to do drugs with you."

Gerald put his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it away even though I wasn't able to go very far.

"Baby," he began. "I'm so sorry, I hate-"

"Hate yourself so much?" I laughed, looking away from him as tears began to fill my eyes. "How do you think I feel right now? My boyfriend forced me to take drugs, and look where it got me."

"You don't mean that," Gerald said as his voice also started to crack, he looked like he had already been crying. "You don't hate me, Rachel. Even I know that's a lie."

I looked away from him as my breath hitched softly in my throat. I quickly wiped the other tears away as they started to fall again, looking up at him after a few minutes.

"I can't hate you no matter what you do," I muttered softly. "But I can hate the things you do. Let's be honest, Gerald, you're not the best person sometimes. You've made a lot of decisions in the past that have affected our relationship."

"But I've also made a lot of good ones, you being one of them," he butted in and cut me off. "I'm not going to sit here and let you pick out every bad thing about me. I know what I need to fix about myself."

My eyes wandered to the teddy bear that was now in my lap. I played with its ears, biting down on the inside of my cheek harshly as I looked up at him again.

"I'm not sure if I can believe anything you're saying right now," I said quietly. "I think we need some time apart. Maybe we don't need to break up, but I ...I want, no, need, to go home."

He shook his head as he grabbed my hand, squeezing it softly. His thumb ran over the dry, rough skin on the back of my hand, but he didn't seem to mind it.

"No, Rachel," he said as he made me look at him. "Please don't go. I need you. I need you here with me."

"I need my space right now, Gerald," I said as I pulled away from him, turning my head. "You know I'm always going to love you no matter what we go through, but this ... I need time to myself. I need time to process what happened and think things over with our relationship," I said as I looked at him. "This'll be good for you, too."

He stood up, looking down at me before pacing away from the bed.

"No, it won't be good for me," he said, raising his voice slightly but bringing it back down after remembering where we were. "I can't do this without you, baby. You're the only thing that keeps me going...if you're gone, I don't know what I'll do."

I heard Kaitlyn and Grady whispering in the hallway, and they were being loud enough so that I could hear what they were saying.

"If she's leaving, then I am, too, Grady," she said as she leaned against the frame of the door. "I'm not staying here without her. I can't."

"You can't leave," Grady said as he reached for her hand. "I need you here with me. I love you."

"That's not a good reason for me to stay," Kaitlyn snapped as she pulled her hand away. "My best friend needs me right now. I have to be with her."

I could hear Grady's voice getting slightly louder, so I knew he was getting angry. Gerald and I sat in silence as we listened to them.

"What about me?" He said with a slight crack to his voice. "Don't you care about me? I need you, and you need me to be here for you."

Kaitlyn scoffed, running a hand through her hair.

"I got along just fine before I met you, and I'll get along just fine after you," she said sternly. "Don't ever for a second think I need to depend on a man."

Gerald turned to look at me sadly, his voice soft.

"Will you come back on tour at least? You were working for me," he said as he squeezed my hand again. "I love you, Rachel, and I need you here with me," he said again.

I shook my head, swallowing another lump in my throat as I ran my hand through his hair.

"I love you, and I always will," I said softly, pulling my hand away. "We need time apart, Gerald. I never said we'd break up, but if that's what happens, then you need to understand that it's what was best for me."

"I'll be waiting for you," he said as he stood up, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "I'll always wait for you," he whispered softly as he walked out of the room, looking at Kaitlyn and Grady.

After a few minutes of whisper-yelling, Kaitlyn came back into my room, rushing back over to my bed to hug me tight.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you," she said as she pulled away. "I'm going home with you. I can't let you stay by yourself."