Isolation&Solitude

10

My body was in pain. In my chest and throat it felt tight. I closed myself in this brown walled room. The only thing my eyes kept trained on was the single wall that was purely glass. It outlooked the mountain and its large trees.

Kirishima's words had resonated deep within me. All he said was true. I was a weak person and not only physically but mentally as well. All I could do now was wonder who truly won. My mother and the man she left me for or I. Someone who's buried herself in torment, the one who's disconnected herself from people who care.

His words also made me question my worth, as his mate and as a person in whole. I was more like a thing, I began to think. A horrible thing who would call her own baby something as disheartening as offspring. I knew deep down though, if I were to have his baby, I wouldn't and couldn't let that baby go.

I was weak and it showed on my skin, my frail skin of my face had bruised from the grip of Kirishima. And I just knew he wasn't even applying as much pressure as he could have.

No matter how much training I did or have done...it was nothing compared to the simple unapplied strength my mate gave.

I sat up in the bed I've been laying in for three days. I wasn't ready for this. For a man like Kirishima. For a mate like him.

I stood up and walked over to the glass wall, I stare in awe at the change colors of the sky as the sun sunk to the horizon. The sky turning orange, pink, and purple all at once. The clouds clearing away so the stars would shine when the time comes. My face was centimeters away from the clean and clear glass, I was careful not to ruin its perfection with my fingers or face.

I was wrapped in a robe only wearing a oversized long sleeve shirt under. I hadn't seen Kirishima for all the days I've been here in this room. But I hear him downstairs, always cooking something but I never go down to eat. I'm not ever hungry anymore.

I wrap my arms around my legs and pull them to my chest. I felt fingers touch my hair, and then hands push back my hair from my face. I looked up at him, tears in my eyes, I was hopeless. He cupped my face as he knelt behind me, wiping my tears away with his thumb. He leaned down and kissed my cheekbone.

"I'm sorry." His chest vibrated as he coed the words to me as we stare at each other. I lean into the palm of his warm hand. "Forgive me." He purred, hiding his face inside the crook of my neck. I nodded my head wordlessly, letting him pick me and and slip us into the bed.

I woke up to my face completely pressed against Kirishima's chest. Our legs tangled together, I eased down my thoughts of telling me that this is wrong and I slowly opened up my heart. Staring at his beautiful face. My lips twitched up as I watched his nose twitch as his bangs tickled his nose, I gently reached up and brushed them back.

He had a little beauty mark right below his right eye. His skin was so soft and smooth I wondered how he got it so blemish free.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, brushing my fingers across his jaw to his cheek. I slid off the tatami bed, my feet meeting the soft rug that was under the platform of the bed. I sighed, shaking my head. I pushed my hair out of my face and kept my hands on top of my head. This was absolutely insane.

I took a quick shower and changed after I finished. I wore a simple ribbed knitted cropped tank top with a jogger like pant, the legs wear baggy but the waist and ankle were tight. I grabbed a cardigan and left as is.

I walked passed Kirishima who was still sleeping so soundly. I slipped out the door and walked around, scoping out the area. I was intrigued by the unique design of the house. The glass walls, the slick dark wood. The fresh air. With the vastness and silence of this house I couldn't help but let my thoughts wander.

Was it true? That I have a mate. He's just upstairs, in a new room that we share. Asleep peacefully. A man who's not just any werewolf, but the last of the strongest and pure blood, the lycanthropy.

I have these doubts, not just because I think of myself as some lowly person. But because it's been said. Brought up to me by a spirit guide that Hansel had taken to me to when I was young.

I remember the odd smell of their house. It was not an awful smell but their was just too many up in the air, but their was a good warmth too it.

"You are surely lucky to have the background that you do, Hansel. Bringing a Halfbreed to me would even get me into trouble." They said, I looked at the person in awe. They seemed to not have a gender, at one angle they looked feminine but at another sharp male features. Even they're body, it had curves but not too much, a soft face, but not too soft.

"Well, Echo, you know you owe me something's." Hansel said lowly, his big hand suddenly flopped down on my head. The pale person, pouted their icy lips. They had tattoos on their cheeks of triangles, ink lines between their eyebrows, four small diamonds creating a big one in their forehead.

Their eyes snapped down to me, they bent down and put out their long slender fingers. I blinked at the person, suddenly feeling an urge. As if this person was almost...almost distantly speaking to me. I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head slightly. My fingers twitched and suddenly I put my hands in theirs, leaning in closer.

"Amazing." Echo whispered.

"So, how do I deal with halfbreed pups? She sleeps a lot, can't eat that much. She screams bloody murder at her growing pains, and she's growing at crazy rates or sometimes not at all. She can't link with me, and once she's shifted, it takes her a long time to shift back into her human form." Hansel said listing off what was on top of his mind.

Echo nodded. "She'll be alright. Halfbreed's will always have trouble with shifting, it's too much of a quick change for them. So she'll need to train and practice for that so she's strong enough. Her growing pains we'll stop by the time she's 19 or 21 years old, that's when she'll get her finale form and she'll become a grown wolf."

They took a pause, looking away from Hansel to me. "But, Juliana, you'll never have a mate or be able to link. Since you're not a full breed you can't have a deep connection with another wolf like that. I'm deeply sorry."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Deep connections...it'll hurt if someone rips it out. I'd rather not have any."

That was my answer back then. I wonder, how did Echo misinterpret that. They have been around so long as a spirit guide so just how could Echo be wrong about this. There's no doubting the pull I feel in my belly that makes me want to always be near him. Why I'm always so conscious of myself and him. How I can pin point every detail of his face.

How I want to know more and get closer despite the little voice in my head telling me not to.

Maybe Echo was right about deep connections. It almost felt impossible for me to get connected to someone, even if I were to not have my past it just felt like there was a barrier.

I hummed to myself, opening up each cabinet in the kitchen to see if there was hot chocolate. Hansel always made fun of me, telling me it didn't suit my image so now I drink and eat sweet things occasionally and when I'm alone.

I found nothing, instead just some tea. I picked up the glass tea kettle, the handle was made out of bamboo that had been glossed over. It seemed nothing was ceramic.

I filled the pot with some water and then placed it over the stovetop. I'll have to figure this out, what I intend to do with my mate and what he plans to do to me.