Poems and shit.

Depressing Shiet

Shes surrounded by friends
But she feels isolated.
Her feelings overwhelm her
So she blocks them out
Like a vessel
It hurts her to see people
Feeling perfectly happy
Walking with a skip.
It makes her wonder
As she cries
Why not me?
She feels like every day is the same
Get up, school, draw, bed.
Barely any time to eat.
Not like she wants to, anyway.
Externally she seems fine.
But inside shes rages a never-ending war
Against her mind.
She tries to stay positive
But the black thoughts keep nagging her
Reminding her that they're still here.
And while she rests
They break free, flooding her head.
Her parents never notice.
She tries to tell her friends
But she sounds whiny and needy.
And other people have worse problems,
Right?
So she reaches out to help others
Helps them climb high till they see the sun
As she falls deeper.
No one knows, though.
They see a squeaky, happy goddess.
She rarely breaks.
Only because of the 3 years of pain
She has endured.
But she cant fight anymore.
Because as she sleeps
Things come back to haunt her.
People she almost lost.
Her old bullies.
Failed relationships.
Demons.
She feels muffled.
Her head hurts.
Her 7 personalities fight over what to do.
In tears, she reaches for her purse
For the box knife shes carried around
Since she was stalked home
By an old creepy man.
As a tear rolls down her cheek,
She finds the mindset that blocks pain
That she tought herself in grade 5.
She doesnt want
To cause pain
For her loved ones
But she cant stand the torture.
Her thoughts are jumbled
And she feels insane
But that's normal.
She swiftly cuts the veins
Protruding from her shaking wrists
And curls up with her blanket.
I'm sorry.
~