I'm (Not) Okay!

~ 1 ~

It's funny how one wrong move can ruin a friendship; I'd laugh if I didn't want to cry at this exact moment. Everyone expects miracles to fly out of my ass when we get dropped into a crap situation on a mission. I guess everyone forgets that there's only so much I can do...

"What is wrong with you?!" Wally screamed, running his shaky hands through his soaked fiery hair. The rest of the team stopped what they were doing to turn around and look at him. "You are supposed to be in this team so where were you today!"

"I was there!" I said back, trying not to raise my voice as much. "I told you I was going to flank them and you didn't listen to me!"

"You never said a bloody word to me about flanking them!" His arms flew into the air before pointing to me. "I'm pretty sure youre imagining things, again, Rob."

"I...I..." I was about to say something but someone interrupted me. 

"Wally, don't blame this on Robin," Kaldur said in my defence, and I internally thanked him, but it still had technically been my fault... "The pair of you had a communication issue that will be resolved when we get back to the mountain."

"No don't defend me Kaldur," I say, with a sigh. "It was my fault. I wanted to push myself by patrolling more with Batman. I guess I'm tired and forgot to say what I was thinking out loud" I rub my arm, feeling ant-sized compared to my team. I was hoping if I admitted I had done wrong then Wally would drop it. 

"Don't worry Robin," said Megan, flying next to me and putting a hand on my shoulder. "We will catch them another day." I nudged her hand off my shoulder. Batman warned me that extra patrolling will get in the way of me being at my best for the team; I'm not Batman. 

"You don't understand," I muttered under my breath when I probably should have just kept silent.

"That's the thing!" Wally shouted in anger. "There's so much we don't know about you, and you know loads about us, Rob! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you and your secrets!"

Everyone gasps except me. I knew this day would come. I knew Wally would turn, someday. Doesn't he know that I'm sick of my secrets, too? So many times I've wished I could tell him everything, but I haven't. Because I don't want any of them to be in danger because of me; because of my idiocy to secrecy.

"Wally... you don't mean that." Artemis says as she rolls her eyes. "You're just tired at the minute. Once you've had a gallon of food you and rob will be best friends again." She looks over at my emotionless face and gives me a reassuring smile. I try to return it but my mouth just doesn't want to move.

"I do fucking mean it!" He retorts back, his hands clenched into fists. His face shows his level of seriousness. 

"Wally, how long have you known Robin?" Asks Connor, surprisingly calm.. Why are they defending me? If Wally doesn't want to be my friend then let him. His loss, right? Besides, I've known all along that a friendship couldn't be sustained by one-sided trust. Who was I to know all his secrets, only for him not to know mine? We'd never really been that close of friends anyways; because he could never really know the real me.

"Guys stop defending me; if he means it then that's fine with me. We can always talk about it later. Can we just get back to the cave? It's been a long night." I walk to the bio ship and everyone follows me silently. Wally trails behind, muttering under his breath.

The ride was excruciatingly painful. I could feel the team staring at me the whole way back to Happy Harbour. I could have screamed! But I didn't. I kept my cool. Like I've been taught. 

As I looked out the window I could see the reflection of the team staring at each other in odd patterns, as if they were having a conversation. Of course they were! Megan is freaking telepathic for goodness sake! I paid more attention and I could see them make gestures with their eyes, trying not to give away that they were talking, but the way they would look at me once in a while suggested that they were definitely talking about me.