Tainted Faith

Thirty Eight: Trentotto [re-written 26/08/21]

[REWRITTEN]

Over two weeks since their return to America, Liliana found herself staring forlornly our the passenger window of the D'Onofrio's black town car, as she and Marcello were chauffeured to an appointment with Dr. Isaac. Today would be her first ultrasound. 

Marcello had organised the entire thing. Much to her surprise, he had stuck to his word, and stayed with her in the house for most days while he recovered. But, lately he had seemed restless, if not a little distant, and Liliana knew that he would return to his usual daily routine soon, despite having not yet healed fully. He still winced with every movement, no matter how much he wished to ignore it. 

His refusal to acknowledge his own injuries infuriated Liliana. She knew the only reason he had stayed in the manor for so long, was for her benefit, and not his own. She had been a mess when Marcello had joined her in their room that first night back.

She had been curled in their bed, the bed sheets crumpled around her, sobbing; Barbato's gift, the tiny baby shoes clutched between stiff fingers. She wasn't entirely sure what she had been crying about. After the events of that day it seemed naïve to pin her break down to an individual cause. She remembered feeling so overwhelmed, so out of control and lost, that all she could do to process everything was cry, and cry, and cry until there were no more tears left to shed.

Mercello had wasted no time in joining her, laying down in the bed and sweeping her into his arms so that she could lean against his uninjured side and sob against his chest. It was only after five minutes of almost silence between them that she realised her husband was crying too.

He did not sob like she did, did not make any sounds at all. Marcello simply laid their in quietly, holding her in his arms as his eyes flooded with tears. Their mutual break down had not been acknowledged since, but the concern they had for one another ever since, was obvious. She saw every worried glance he directed her way, when he thought she didn't notice.  

"We're here," Marcello murmured softly, breaking her from her thoughts. Liliana only nodded, moving to open the car door. A hand on her forearm had her pausing, but she didn't turn to face Marcello. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah," Liliana cleared her throat, blinking heavily to ward off the burning of her eyes, "Just... just not sure I'm ready for this."

Marcello said nothing else, but once they had stepped out of the car, she noted his hard expression as he took her hand and led her into the building. 

The two of them spent half an hour with Dr. Isaac and his associate whom conducted the ultrasound. Liliana had remained quiet through most of the appointment while Marcello and the doctor talked about her health, the pregnancy, and any changes that needed to be made to her diet and lifestyle. She barely registered any of the information. It all seemed so surreal to her.

When she thought of her pregnancy, of the ultrasound, when she first heard that strong heartbeat from the baby growing inside her, she could only feel numb. She hadn't looked at she screen of the ultrasound for longer than a few seconds. When the doctor had printed out the small blurred image, Marcello had been the one to take it from him. 

Marcello seemed to take it all in with confidence. He didn't seem as overwhelmed as she felt, as if the pregnancy didn't terrify him like it did her.

***

That afternoon, Sophia had paid a visit to the manor to keep Liliana company while Marcello had disappeared into his home office. She had arrived straight from her classes, clearly eager to see her despite the sombre expression on her face. Sophia had been the first one Liliana had called upon her return to America, breaking the news of Barbato's death, and Liliana knew Sophia had taken the death hard.